You are all undoubtedly familiar with various abbreviations used by law enforcement and courts to designate certain crimes.
Commonly seen terms are
DUI - Driving under the influence
MIP - Minor in possession of alcohol
VNCO - Violation of No-contact order
Some terms have also been coined by certain groups to designate non-crimes where police often seem to target minorities, such as
DWB - Driving While Black
Well, TABS has uncovered a series of heretofore unknown crimes and their abbreviations, which police use only against men in domestic situations. Unbeknownst to most men, they are committing "crimes" every day in their dealings with their wives or significant others. All the wife has to do is call 911, report the misbehavior, and the man will be summarily tossed out the door.
So, as a public service, to help better prepare you for what may happen to you at any time, we offer the following formerly classified offenses, for which you may get in trouble at home:
MWM - MARRIED WHILE MALE
PWM - PARENTING WHILE MALE
FTYW - FAILURE TO YIELD TO WIFE
WOLL - WEIGHT OVER LEGAL LIMIT
WOLL - BB WEIGHT OVER LEGAL LIMIT WITH BEER-BELLY ENHANCEMENT
HTR - HOGGING THE REMOTE
DWW - DISAGREEING WITH WIFE
MIPM - MALE IN POSSESSION OF A MIND
OIJ - OBSTRUCTION OF INJUSTICE
RFA - RESISTING FALSE ACCUSATIONS
RDVII - RESISTING DV INDUSTRY INDOCTRINATION (When sent to DV Perp Treatment Re-education)
MID - MALE IN DENIAL (OF BEING AN ABUSER)
ESR - ELUDING SOLE RESPONSIBILITY (FOR MARITAL PROBLEMS)
AFS - ASKING FOR SEX
SNS - SAYING NO TO SEX
PWHSWMM - PROTESTING WIFE HAVING SEX WITH MAIL MAN
VNCWPO - VIOLATION OF NO-CONTACT WITHOUT PERMISSION ORDER
WTMH - WORKING TOO MANY HOURS
NMEM - NOT MAKING ENOUGH MONEY
ATSWFSRMOLT -ATTEMPTING TO STOP WIFE FROM SPENDING RENT MONEY ON LOTTO TICKETS
Lisa Scott is a family law attorney based in Bellevue, Washington. Tired of having her stuff rejected by elitist bar publications and politically-correct newspapers, she decided to start her own website. Co-founder of TABS: Taking Action Against Bias in the System, she has been fighting for equal justice and gender equality in the family courts for years. Lisa hopes you enjoy the humor, satire, absurdity, and occasional seriousness contained on this site. And be sure to give us your contributions on the Blog.
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