This is a story sadly repeated daily across Canada. Eight men a day kill themselves but few get their story told like this. I fear many are quite parallel and although Capital punishment does not exist in this country of Canada, Family Court Judges give the death sentence to men like Frankie every day.
If you are a parent think of the devastating effect loss of your children and your status as a parent would have. One day you are a father seeing your children 24/7 and the next you are a visitor with no legal rights but you do have horrendous financial obligations. Its as though you are stopped being treated like a human and have become a drone working for the stazi "mom police" at FRO. This is Ontario's version of the male gulag apparatchik designed solely to hunt down men, humiliate them, remove their drivers licenses and passports and throw them in jail even if they cannot afford child/spousal support.
I wrote this for another column but some of it fits for this story as well. Governments, including the judiciary, have created a very unfriendly environment for males - not on entry to marriage but certainly on exit from it. We have moved to a society where the government believes if a man cannot hold a marriage together, despite it purportedly being an equal partnership, then the man is turned from a productive member of society, a father and husband to a marginalized bystander and a financial lever to be bled dry in the new Gynocracy. In other words despite the fact heterosexual marriage is the best and most stable environment for children to be raised, incentives exist for a woman to remove herself from it with the complete support of the nanny state. Seventy five percent (75%) of divorces are initiated by the wife. Ninety percent (90%) of physical custody goes to her along with most of men paying child and often spousal support. Dad, if he is lucky, ends up seeing his children 4 days a month if mom doesn't act as a gatekeeper. These orders are given even though there is no fault found but fault is often alleged by the divorcing female if it will enhance the opportunity for custody. We don't know what allegations were made in Frankie's case but he is gone and it is history.
Part of this eco system is Women’s Domestic Violence Shelters found throughout Canada. There are an estimated 550 to 569 of them across the land and they are represented in every province and territory. This is the viral training ground for female advocacy in family law where each participant must sign a non-disclosure agreement. They cannot, under duress, reveal their indoctrination or the instructions given on how to proceed against their male partner. If one thinks they are there for Domestic Violence only I have this property to sell you… They will not serve males who are abused by their female partner. And yes – they adhere to a feminist dogma. In fact, when they seek employees one of the criteria is the employee must be willing to allow themselves indoctrination into the cult of ideological feminism if they are not already. This is not your early flavour of equality feminism but a cultistic dogma used as mendacious propaganda to belittle men and masculinity.
Canada’s Budget to keep these shelters operational is $377 million annually (StasCan 2005-2006)
Stats Can states In 2008 the percentage of abused women reporting domestic violence by male partner = 8%
In 2008 percentage of abused men reporting domestic violence by female partner = 7 %
Number of Shelters for abused Men in Canada = 1 (privately run. In Calgary, Alberta)
Canada’s budget for men’s shelters = $ 0
In Ontario alone we have a Status of Women budget of $208,000,000 not including targeted legal aid of 10’s of millions. The reader should understand the public policy side of marriage is heavily skewed in favour of the matriarchy. The Patriarchy died, along with the cojones of lawmakers and judges, amongst others, decades ago. If in doubt check to see how many deadbeat moms are in jail for withholding access, withholding child support when they have lost custody, (they are proportionately less likely to pay), recheck the number of females working in education, health care, social work, all levels of Government, registered and graduated from University. You will find females outnumber males in all those mentioned. And as we know from the employment equity debate they are still at the top of the list as needing affirmative action in employment.
Public Policy needs to change to strengthen and keep marriages together not make it easier for them to fall apart. Partnerships are hard to maintain whether it be marriage or business and when the rules favour one partner over the other it is troubling. It can lead to tragic deaths like Frankie in the poignant story below. Don't forget, this happens 8 times a day, on average in Canada, much of it, on a balance of probabilities, directly related to family law. Also keep in mind it is not the law causing this, although it is truly a ass and needs changing, it is people. The principals are Judges, Lawyers, Politicians and mendacious feminists. Intertwined in this are the components of the broader feminist ecosystem including child protection and child mental health services, largely staffed by females and often with an agenda favouring mom.MJM
Fiorito: Driven to death by the legal system
Frankie Robertson poured drinks for the men who sat at the bar and bet on the horses; he knew how to read them well; the men, if not always the horses. His ear was easily bent, and everybody liked him; best bartender in the city, they all said.
An irony: the bartender listens to your troubles, but who listens to the troubles of the bartender?
Frankie died recently.
Suddenly.
He left behind two daughters, and many friends with sore hearts; men and women alike, they came to the Turf Lounge last week to pay their respects.
There were photos of Frankie in a back room, and photos of his girls, and Frankie must have known there would be speeches.
Nicholas Xynnis said, “I knew Frankie for seven years. I met him soon after the bar opened. We became good friends. My office is around the corner. We’d have a drink and a chat. He was separated, I was separated; we had that in common. We’d hang out, outside of work; him and his kids, my son and I.”
This is not about the failure of Frankie’s marriage; marriages fail all the time; instead, it is about what happened to a lovely man who found himself dragged through the long slow hell of family court, and . . .
Stop right there.
Yes, it is a given that there are two sides to every story. But let it also be a given that Frankie was a stand-up guy who was broken by the system.
The money he was required to pay was calculated on his after-tax income, and Frankie was not rich. He was a guy who’d had a home, a family, and a couple of sweet kids. And then he didn’t have those things.
He worked two jobs. His credit cards were maxed. He was behind in all his bills and couldn’t pay his rent.
He feared eviction. He owed his lawyers. Worst of all, the time he had been granted with his kids was limited.
He’d had hope.
He was planning to take the securities course in the fall; he thought maybe he could make a better buck on the big board than he could behind the bar. He’d sent a note to a friend, asking for advice about the course.
And then, a short while later, on a day that had begun with optimism, Frankie learned that a family court judgment for thousands of dollars had gone against him.
How does hope end?
Suddenly.
Nick, who is a lawyer, spoke slowly now. “I’d spent the day in court. I went back to the office and checked my email. There was a note from Frankie. The subject heading was, ‘Goodbye.’ I called his cell, his home, his work. Then I called the police and the ambulance.”
And then he went to Frankie’s place and found his friend. Nick also found two letters.
Frankie’s last wishes: He wanted the people he loved to set up a trust fund for the education of his girls, and he wanted his friends to take a hard look at the family court system that broke him.
Barry Callaghan, a regular and a friend of Frankie, also spoke. He said, “The letters drive me into a rage . . . I have such disdain for the law I can hardly express it . . . it is clear the justice system ate Frankie alive, and it’s got to stop . . . Frankie got swallowed by the flippant judgment of judges . . . what was the purpose?”
I don’t know.
But I hope — and hope is such a pale word — that Frankie’s friends honour both his wishes.
Joe Fiorito appears Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Email :jfiorito@thestar.ca
http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/article/840684#article
