Happy Father's Day ~ Dads and Coaching

Joseph C. Phillips
Monday, June 14, 2010

I am an assistant coach on my middle son’s youth football team. Football practice begins in August and I have spent the last two weeks reading up on defensive alignments, surfing coaching websites, and sending e-mail to some of the high school coaches in the area begging for coaching tips. If I watch one more video of conditioning exercises for defensive linemen my head is going to explode. I have begun dreaming in “X’s” and “O’s.”

Of course, that is what I say today. Tomorrow, I will get up and begin the routine all over again. Why? Well, I guess it’s because I have grown to love coaching. Unless one loves it, there is really no other reason to be a youth coach.

A person certainly won’t get rich coaching youth sports. In fact, often a youth coach will lose money over the course of a season. Every coach I know spends his own money to pay for extra equipment and materials. Most of the coaches I know spend additional money on books and clinics in order to expand their knowledge. More than one coach I know has paid the registration fee for a boy whose parents were having financial difficulties. These coaches didn’t open their wallets because the boy was a superstar, (although I have also witnessed performance purchasing). Rather, the coach paid the fee because the boy wanted to play.
The truth is that coaching can often seem like one big headache after another. A coach must contend with equipment shortages, limited practice time, and bizarre and negative interactions with parents. Buy a youth coach a beer and let him regale you with tales of parents gone wild. Every coach has at least one such story.

And success doesn’t guarantee that parents will behave as if they have some sense. In some instances winning actually makes them behave worse. I had two parents threaten me with violence because during a game I told their son to hustle. Our team was undefeated!

According to The Center for Kids First, each year 40-50 million children participate in youth sports. The vast majority of those children--85%--are coached by a father of one of the children on the team. Youth coaches spend an average of 11 hours per week with their young charges. That’s a lot of children, and a lot of fathers who volunteer a lot of time.

Put another way, millions of parents place the physical and emotional well-being of their children into the hands of a small number of men, most of whom are married and have children of their own.
And much is expected from these mostly untrained volunteers. Youth coaches are asked to be teachers, strategists, babysitters, nurses, and social workers.

Parents enroll their children in youth sports in hope that their children will learn physical skills that will allow them to stay active throughout their lives, that they will develop a sense of belonging, and that it will promote their moral development. In other words: Sports build character. But this vaunted character that comes from participation in organized sports does not happen by magic; picking up a ball does not automatically strengthen a child’s moral fiber. Character must be taught. And to whom does the duty fall? The youth coach.
And when there is dysfunction in a child’s home the problems tend to follow the players onto the field. When the parents are experiencing marital difficulties, when there is alcoholism or abuse, or when the family dog dies, these volunteers are still expected to persevere. With no professional training--and even less warning--youth coaches must navigate the emotional waters, continue to teach, and win on Saturday!

But, I do love it. I love seeing the eagerness in the boys’ eyes; I love hearing their young laughter; I enjoy watching the passion with which they play. I love witnessing their growth and maturation over the course of a season. And I love knowing that in some small way the work I do may contribute to their life-long love of the game of football.

So, I am going to put down my study for today. However, tomorrow I will begin watching a series of DVDs on how to teach the 44-Stack defense to 11-year old boys.

It may be selfish, but this Father’s Day I am also going to lift a glass of whatever-I-happen-to-be-drinking and salute the dads that volunteer, the fathers that take the time to learn a sport they have never played, or to re-educate themselves in a sport they have not played in years. We parents put our sons and daughters into their hands and ask that they teach our precious ones the value of hard work, the necessity of discipline, and most important, the joy of competitive sports.

God bless them, and cheers!



Copyright © 2010 Salem Web Network. All Rights Reserved.

In Australia as in Canada ~ No Support for Male Victims of Domestic Violence

Posted By Deborah Robinson On 06/12/2010 @ 21:22 In FEATURED | 6 Comments

According to those who work in the area of men’s health, the current approach to domestic violence ignores the one in three victims of family violence who are male. While not wanting to undermine the decades of effort that have gone into establishing services for female victims of domestic violence, they want the government to do more to raise awareness about the plight of male victims, many of whom find they have nowhere to turn when a female partner becomes violent or abusive.


Gary’s ex-wife had punched him in the face with a closed fist on several occasions. But it wasn’t until she punched the couple’s 16 month old daughter while he was holding her, that the father of two decided enough was enough. “She walked over and punched my baby daughter in the middle of the back, sending us both flying.

November 12-14, Canadian Equal Parenting Council National Conference & AGM

This conference looks promising and will be the first of its kind in Canadian history.

In New Hampshire ~ No bail for woman convicted of framing ex-husband by texting

Reader comments

By JAMES A. KIMBLE
Union Leader Correspondent
Friday, May. 7, 2010


BRENTWOOD – Kristin Ruggiero was ordered held without bail after a jury convicted her of trying to set up her ex-husband and have him jailed by falsely reporting to police that he sent her a dozen threatening text messages in May 2008.

Judge Kenneth McHugh said it was necessary to keep Ruggiero in jail after the jury found that the 34-year-old mother used the criminal justice system as a means to falsely imprison her ex-husband, Jeffrey, and ruin his career.

RUGGIERO

►Judge Kenneth McHugh lectures Ruggiero - 1.3mb .mp3
►Jury to begin deliberating in Ruggiero trial (14)
►Prosecutors: Ex-wife falsified texts to have husband jailed (3)
►Police chief says Ruggiero targeted him (5)

"The jury's verdict has confirmed my belief after hearing 8 days of this case that the defendant is a pathological liar," McHugh said. "She will do and say anything in order to distort facts so as to avoid responsibility for her actions."

McHugh remarked that Ruggiero's case was not a normal one for Rockingham County.
It came exactly two years after Kristin Ruggiero had played a key witness in the prosecution of her ex-husband, who was later exonerated by prosecutors when an East Kingston police investigation concluded that Jeffrey Ruggiero was convicted of crimes he did not commit.

Ruggiero, a U.S. Coast Guard chief petty officer, nearly lost his career and was jailed for three and a half weeks following an April 30, 2008, criminal threatening case based on Kristin Ruggiero's complaints.
As Jeffrey Ruggiero awaited sentencing in that case, his ex-wife complained to police about the text messages - sent on a disposable cell phone.

The investigation into that second case - undertook by East Kingston police Chief Richard Simpson - found the signals on the disposable phone coincided with Kristin Ruggiero's whereabouts in California and Tennessee.

Exeter District Court Judge Laurence Cullen, who convicted Jeffrey Ruggiero in the criminal threatening case two years ago, came to hear the verdict in the Ruggiero verdict, quietly taking a seat - out of his robe - in the rear of the courtroom.

Kristin Ruggiero used other technology such as computer viruses and anonymous text messaging to hack into her ex-husband's computer and e-mail as a way to continually stalk and harass her ex-husband, according to prosecutors.

McHugh said he believed her adept knowledge with computers and technology made her a flight risk.
"She has shown the ability to fly around the country. She is computer savvy and there's no doubt in my mind if she were allowed to leave this building today, she would find some way to avoid appearance on July 1," McHugh said.

Ruggiero showed no emotion as she was led out of the courtroom and taken into custody.
At her sentencing on July 1, Ruggiero faces a potential 3 1/2 to 7 year state prison sentence on each of the 12 counts of falsifying physical evidence. She was also found guilty of a misdemeanor charge of false report to law enforcement.

Following the verdict, Assistant County Attorney Jerome Blanchard said the conviction marked a victory for more than the criminal justice system.

"It's a good day for the men and women who are real victims of domestic violence," Blanchard said.
He prosecuted the 8-day trial with Assistant County Attorney Geoffrey Ward, a member of the domestic violence unit.

Simpson, the police chief whose investigation found Ruggiero was using the criminal justice system as a tool of revenge, said he will be happy to move on from the case, but hopes it serves as a warning.

"Maybe it will send a message to other people who would think of doing such a thing," he said.

Deputy County Attorney Tom Reid said despite the conviction, prosecutors will continue to investigate some of the evidence and documents submitted by Ruggiero as part of her defense.

Reid declined to say whether Ruggiero or others could face charges if evidence suggested other crimes were committed.

http://www.unionleader.com/article.aspx?headline=No+bail+for+woman+convicted+of+framing+ex-husband+by+texting&articleId=b0ca7b34-27a1-4771-a683-cb7ecdb65692

In Massachusetts an affirmative nod for Shared Parenting

Editorial Worcester, MA News Telegram

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Fairness for fathers

Bill makes sense for most divorces

Divorce is tough on all involved, especially the children. By smoothing the way toward sound custody agreements, House Bill 1400 offers help in the vast majority of cases: those involving two fit parents.

Advocates point out that the current practice in Massachusetts, in which the mother is the presumed custodial parent, encourages conflict. The Shared Parenting bill would require that courts handling separation and divorce agreements work from the presumption that both parents should share physical and legal custody.

That, says the advocacy group Fathers & Families, encourages cooperation and keeps the focus on what is best for children. Instead of a father having to fight for time with the children he loves, the legal system would assume that he merits equal time, and spend its time working out the details and practicalities of a given case. Shared parenting needn’t be a rigid 50-50 split; the mere assumption that both parents deserve ample time eases tensions, and the eventual agreement arrived at depends on a host of factors.

There was a time when it was generally reasonable for the mother to be awarded custody of the children almost automatically. That time is gone. Family dynamics and gender roles have changed. Just as women have proved themselves in the workplace, men have come into their own as nurturers at home, often very closely involved in their children’s upbringing.

The bill, it must be emphasized, is for families in which both parents are fit and no other problem gets in the way, such as parents living far apart. Judges would depart from the shared-parenting starting point whenever the best interests of the child so dictated, giving written reasons.

This simple bill, currently before the Joint Committee on the Judiciary, offers an enormous and welcome change in how families would navigate marriage dissolution. Once this sad, private decision had been made, the system would help the parents find the way forward that puts the children on the best possible footing. Afterward, other benefits would accrue: children doing better in school, paternal grandparents enjoying access, less fighting, better child support compliance.

In short, this bill offers respect and assistance to both partners who are parting ways, freeing up time and attention for the young ones affected — who want, and who need, both parents.

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http://www.telegram.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100513/NEWS/5130725/

Feminism has led to more female violence in their quest to be more like men

 

 

 

 

Feminism blamed for rising female violence

By Louisa Rebgetz

Posted Tue Jun 1, 2010 6:24am AEST

Social factors such as the rise of feminism could be behind the rise in violence amongst women, researcher says. (www.sxc.hu: Dominik Gwarek)

A Northern Territory researcher says studies show women can be just as violent as men and social changes are behind a reported rise in violence among young women.

A senior lecturer in psychology at Charles Darwin University, Dr Peter Forster, says there is no truth to the argument that testosterone levels make men more aggressive.

He says social factors such as the rise of feminism in the last few decades could be behind the rise in violence amongst women.

"We've now taken away the expectation that women will behave differently to men," he said.

"It used to be that one of the biggest differences was that women were more peaceful, they were peacemakers.

"[But] that kind of inhibition to be violent has gradually diminished to the point where it no longer inhibits women at all."

Tags: community-and-society, women, australia, nt

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/06/01/2914561.htm