Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Belgium chooses 50/50 in Family Law


2009 September 16
by Father Knowledge Centre

Belgium’s new shared parenting laws (*)

By Peter Tromp PhD and Robert Whiston FRSA, 16 September 2009

Belgium has introduced radical reforms to its child custody laws. Not only has it forsaken sole custody as the preferred option and adopted shared parenting but has gone so far as to adopt the more radical position of equality between the parents. Not only do both parents share the custody time of their children but they share it equally with ‘alternating residence and care’. Not formulated as a prefixed end result but based in a strong presumption levelling the playing field on physical child custody decisions between the divorcing parents firmly, denying shared parenting only on strong objectiviable grounds. Below is an analysis of the Six Principles on which the 2006 Belgian Law Reform is premised.

(*) Note: A French language version of the original law reform text of 2006 adopted by the Belgian parliament can be read on the following website:

Introduction

The 2006 Belgian reform law on equally shared alternating residence and care for the children after a divorce or separation is based on six principles, each of which build upon each other sequentially and are listed below in their specific order.

It must be borne in mind that unlike countries familiar with the Common Law, on the European continent it is normal for the kernel of the Civil Code to remain in place (i.e. unaltered) but with additions and amendments changing its complexion or direction from time to time. By contrast, in Common Law countries the usual process would be to execute a completely new statute making the old law redundant.

  • The Belgian law begins by addressing firstly the largest group of parents who mutually find common agreement on the custody and care of their children (A).
  • The Belgian law then addresses that group of parents who cannot agree (B).
  • Thirdly, the Belgian law then addresses how enforcement of court ordered residential and accommodation orders are to be made (C).

Preamble: The Belgian law does not speak either of equal parenting or shared parenting, nor of equal shared parenting, but instead speaks of an equally divided “alternating residence”.
Translated, the title of the Belgian law is:
“Bill to focus on the equally divided alternating residence of the child whose parents are separated and regulating how the enforcement is to be conducted in terms of accommodation of children.”

A. Where parents can mutually agree and have come to an agreement:

1. The law recognises and rewards divorcing parents who reach by mutual consent and co-operation care and custodial arrangements for their children. The legislation encourages mutual consent and co-operation, if needed, by making available mediation to both parties.
The reward is that the parents are free to take responsibility for the arrangements of their children post divorce without court interference or seeking its permission. In effect the decision of the parents, if mutually reached, takes primacy over whatever the judge and court may think (i.e. overrules a judge’s discretionary powers).

The law addresses those parents who agree parenting and residential arrangement by mutual consent for their post-divorce living arrangements. This can include mutually agreed equal/joint custody or sole custody. Any arrangement for post-divorce parenting and residence that is jointly put forward by both parents to the court will be accepted by the court and incorporated into the record and validated (unless the judge can identify an obvious impediment that is not in the best interest of the child).

2.Where there is some disagreement between the parents but the judge and the court can nonetheless see there is a possibility for the differences to be reconciled the judge can put the divorce hearing ‘on hold’ (suspended).
The case may be suspended for a maximum period of one month during which time the parents must access the mediation in Belgium provided under the law in an attempt to solve their differences. Only when this is undertaken and an agreement reached by mutual consent will the court validate the parent’s agreement (and if the agreement is not against the best interest of the child).

B. But when parents cannot agree and cannot come to an agreement:

Only when parents do not agree the Belgian law introduces the concept of a presumption of an “equally divided alternating residence” and restores an equal level playing field between the divorcing parents.

3. Where parents cannot agree the law states that upon the request of only one of the parents the judge must investigate and seriously consider the possibility of ordering an “equally divided alternating residence” of the children between both parents as a post-divorce parenting arrangement.

Parents who cannot agree or who keep disagreeing on their post-divorce residence and care arrangement over the children have their options to decide taken from them and the court decides. The primacy of the legislation is equality for both parents and so the court therefore starts from the premise of an enforceable presumption for “equally divided alternating residence and care” if at all practicable on the request of one of the parents. This is achieved by the court giving weight, i.e. preference, to the parent who seeks joint custody over the parent who opposes joint custody.
However, joint custody is not a guaranteed end result as circumstances may dictate an unequal joint custody arrangement or even a sole custody award if serious circumstances indicate so, e.g. when parents are living 100 kilometres apart, making it practically impossible to have their child attend the same school during the time spent with each parent.

4. The law allows the judge to exercise discretion in deciding a more unequal division with regards stay and accommodation of the children between the parents than was requested by one of the parents. It is therefore possible for the court to deviate from the default position of an “equally divided alternating residence” request.

Thus the judge is given the discretion to differentiate from the request of one of the parents for an “equally divided alternating residence” order and instead can decide to make an order for an unequal division of stay and residence with the parents.

5. The judge is mandated to provide in writing why he has deviated from the default position of “equally divided alternating residence.”
He must disclose in his judgment his reasons and motivations in reaching his conclusions specifying why he cannot accede to “equally divided alternating residence” demanded by one of the parent’s.
In his written judgment the judge has to give an account of the considerations specific to the particular case and [why or how they affect] the interests of both the children and the individual parents. The written judgment of the judge is opened to appeal by the parent seeking equal divided alternating residence.”

C. Effective enforcement of court ordered alternating residence arrangements – when disputes later arise between the divorced parents

The final phase of the Belgian law is the arrangements in place for the effective enforcement of court ordered alternating residence arrangements.

6. Effective enforcement is achieved by keeping the case ‘active’ on the courts’ roll. This allows each of the parents to immediately resurrect the case and have access to the court should disputes between them later arise. Parents can access the court and without the need of a lawyer, unilaterally without the consent of the other parent and at any time, e.g. mother violates a father’s access time.
The divorce case, and therefore the custody and residence issue, cannot be closed by the courts until the children involved have reached their majority, i.e. have come of age.
If a disagreement arises the court must order a court hearing within three weeks after the application is made to decide on the matter. In such circumstances the case is given priority over all other cases pending at the court.

The items above (Pre-amble and 1 – 6) are the principles of the Belgian law on “alternating residence” and the accommodating of children after a divorce.

We would point out that the wording of the law reform text is not ambiguous. It does not speak vaguely of ‘shared parenting’ but of enforcing equality between parents by factually stating the terms of the residence and accommodation arrangements.

http://fkce.wordpress.com/2009/09/16/00031/


French text of the Belgian law on shared parenting:

“PROJET DE LOI tendant à privilégier l’hébergement égalitaire de l’enfant dont les parents sont séparés et réglementant l’exécution forcée en matière d’hébergement d’enfant”

  • Final law text accepted by the Belgian House of Commons: March 24, 2006
  • Officially published on: September 4, 2006
  • Came into effect on: November 5, 2006

Source: CHAMBRE DES REPRÉSENTANTS DE BELGIQUE – CHAMBRE 4e SESSION DE LA 51e LÉGISLATURE 2005 – 2006 – 6 DOC 51 1673/019 – 4617 – 24 mars 2006

Download PDF originale en Neerlandais et Francais: http://www.dekamer.be/FLWB/pdf/51/1673/51K1673019.pdf

TEXTE ADOPTÉ PAR LA COMMISSION DE LA JUSTICE

Documents précédents :
Doc 51 1673/ (2004/2005):

  • 001 : Projet de loi.
  • 002 à 013 : Amendements.
  • 014 : Rapport.
  • 015 à 017 : Amendements.
  • 018 : Rapport.

CHAPITRE PREMIER

Disposition générale

Article 1er

La présente loi règle une matière visée à l’article 78 de la Constitution.

CHAPITRE II

Modifications du Code civil

Art. 2

Dans l’article 374 du Code civil, modifié par la loi du 13 avril 1995, dont le texte actuel formera le § 1er, il est ajouté un § 2 rédigé comme suit:

«§ 2. Lorsque les parents ne vivent pas ensemble et qu’ils saisissent le tribunal de leur litige, l’accord relatif à l’hébergement des enfants est homologué par le tribunal sauf s’il est manifestement contraire à l’intérêt de l’enfant.

À défaut d’accord, en cas d’autorité parentale conjointe, le tribunal examine prioritairement, à la demande d’un des parents au moins, la possibilité de fixer l’hébergement de l’enfant de manière égalitaire entre ses parents.

Toutefois, si le tribunal estime que l’hébergement égalitaire n’est pas la formule la plus appropriée, il peut décider de fixer un hébergement non-égalitaire.

Le tribunal statue en tout état de cause par un jugement spécialement motivé, en tenant compte des circonstances concrètes de la cause et de l’intérêt des enfants et des parents.».

Art. 3

L’article 387bis du même Code, tel qu’inséré par la loi du 13 avril 1995, est complété par les alinéas suivants:

«Sans préjudice de l’article 1734 du Code judiciaire, le tribunal tente de concilier les parties. Il leur donne toutes informations utiles sur la procédure et en particulier sur l’interêt de recourir à la médiation telle que prévue à la septième partie du Code judiciaire. S’il constate qu’un rapprochement est possible, il peut ordonner la surséance de la procédure afin de permettre aux parties de recueillir toutes informations utiles à cet égard et d’entamer le processus de médiation. La durée de la surséance ne peut être supérieure à un mois.

Le tribunal peut, même d’office, ordonner une mesure préalable destinée à instruire la demande ou à régler provisoirement la situation des parties pour un délai qu’il détermine.

Lorsqu’il est saisi pour la première fois d’une telle demande, sauf accord de toutes les parties et du procureur du Roi, le tribunal de la jeunesse statue à titre provisionnel.

La cause peut être réexaminée à une audience ultérieure, à une date fixée d’office dans le jugement, dans un délai qui ne peut excéder un an, et sans préjudice d’une nouvelle convocation à une date plus rapprochée, ainsi qu’il est indiqué à l’alinéa suivant.

Devant le tribunal de la jeunesse, la cause reste inscrite au rôle jusqu’à ce que les enfants concernés par le litige soient émancipés ou aient atteint l’âge de la majorité légale. En cas d’éléments nouveaux, elle peut être ramenée devant le tribunal par conclusions ou par demande écrite, déposée ou adressée au greffe.

L’article 730, § 2, a) du Code judiciaire n’est pas applicable à ces causes.».

Art. 4

Un article 387ter, rédigé comme suit, est inséré dans le même Code:

«Article 387ter — § 1er. Lorsque l’un des parents refuse d’exécuter les décisions judiciaires relatives à l’hébergement des enfants ou au droit aux relations personnelles, la cause peut être ramenée devant le juge compétent. Par dérogation à l’article 569, 5°, du Code judiciaire, le juge compétent est celui qui a rendu la décision qui n’a pas été respectée, à moins qu’un autre juge n’ait été saisi depuis, auquel cas la demande est portée devant ce dernier.

Le juge statue toutes affaires cessantes.

Sauf en cas d’urgence, il peut notamment:

  • procéder à de nouvelles mesures d’instruction telles qu’une enquête sociale ou une expertise;
  • procéder à une tentative de conciliation;
  • suggérer aux parties de recourir à la médiation tel que prévue à l’article 387bis.

Il peut prendre de nouvelles décisions relatives à l’autorité parentale ou à l’hébergement de l’enfant.

Sans préjudice des poursuites pénales, le juge peut autoriser la partie victime de la violation de la décision visée à l’alinéa 1er à recourir à des mesures de contrainte.

Il détermine la nature de ces mesures et leurs modalités d’exercice au regard de l’intérêt de l’enfant et désigne, s’il l’estime nécessaire, les personnes habilitées à accompagner l’huissier de justice pour l’exécution de sa décision.

Le juge peut prononcer une astreinte tendant à assurer le respect de la décision à intervenir, et, dans cette hypothèse, dire que pour l’exécution de cette astreinte, l’article 1412 du Code judiciaire est applicable.

La décision est de plein droit exécutoire par provision. § 2. Le présent article est également applicable lorsque les droits des parties sont réglés par une convention tel que prévue à l’article 1288 du Code judiciaire.

Dans ce cas, et sans préjudice du § 3, le tribunal est saisi par une requête contradictoire.

§ 3. En cas d’absolue nécessité et sans préjudice du recours à l’article 584 du Code judiciaire, l’autorisation de recourir à des mesures de contrainte visée au § 1er peut être sollicitée par requête unilatérale. Les articles 1026 à 1034 du Code judiciaire sont applicables. La partie requérante doit joindre à l’appui de la requête toutes pièces utiles tendant à établir que la partie récalcitrante a bien été mise en demeure de respecter ses obligations et qu’elle a résisté à l’exécution de la décision.

L’inscription de la requête a lieu sans frais. La requête est versée au dossier de la procédure ayant donné lieu à la décision qui n’a pas été respectée, à moins qu’un autre juge n’ait été saisi depuis.

§ 4. Le présent article ne porte pas préjudice aux dispositions internationales liant la Belgique en matière d’enlèvement international d’enfants.».

CHAPITRE III

Modification du Code judiciaire

Art. 5

L’article 1412, alinéa 1er, du Code judiciaire, modifié par les lois des 31 mars 1987 et 14 janvier 1993, est complété comme suit:

«3° lorsque le juge a fait application de l’article 387ter, alinéa 2, du Code civil.».


Google Translation to English:


French text of the Belgian law on shared parenting:

"BILL tending to favor the equal accommodation of the child whose parents are separated and regulating the execution in hosting a child"

Law * Final text accepted by the Belgian House of Commons: March 24, 2006
* Officially published on: September 4, 2006
* Came into effect on: November 5, 2006

Source: HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES OF BELGIUM - 4th ROOM THE 51st SESSION OF PARLIAMENT 2005 - 2006 - 6 DOC 51 1673/019 - 4617 - 24 March 2006

Download PDF original Dutch and French: http://www.dekamer.be/FLWB/pdf/51/1673/51K1673019.pdf

TEXT ADOPTED BY THE COMMISSION FOR JUSTICE

Previous documents:
Doc 51 1673 / (2004/2005):

* 001: Bill.
* 002-013: Amendments.
* 014: Report.
* 015-017: Amendments.
* 018: Report.

CHAPTER ONE

General provision

Article 1

This law regulates a matter referred to in Article 78 of the Constitution.

CHAPTER II

Amendments to Civil Code

Art. 2

In Article 374, Civil Code, amended by Law of April 13, 1995, the text of the current form § 1 shall be added to § 2 as follows:

§ 2. When parents do not live together and they seize the court of their dispute, the agreement concerning the hosting of children is confirmed by the court unless it is manifestly contrary to the interests of the child.

Failing agreement, in case of joint custody, the court looks primarily at the request of a parent at least an opportunity to fix the housing of the child equally among his relatives.

However, if the court finds that the accommodation does not equal the most appropriate, he may decide to set a housing non-egalitarian.

The court decides in any case by a specially reasoned decision, taking into account the concrete circumstances of the case and the interests of children and parents. ".

Art. 3

Article 387bis of the Code, as inserted by the Act of April 13, 1995, is supplemented by the following paragraphs:

"Without prejudice to Article 1734 of the Judicial Code, the court attempts to reconcile the parties. It gives all relevant information about the procedure and in particular the interest of using mediation as provided in Part VII of the Judicial Code. If it finds that a reconciliation is possible, it may order the temporary deferment of the proceedings to enable parties to obtain all relevant information in this regard and begin the mediation process. The duration of temporary deferment may not exceed a month.

The court may of its own motion, order a preliminary measure designed to examine the application or temporarily resolve the situation of the parties for a period it determines.

Upon receiving for the first time such a request, unless approved by all parties and the public prosecutor, the juvenile court shall act as provisional.

The issue may be revisited at a later hearing, a date set in motion the trial, in a period not exceeding one year, and without prejudice to the call at an earlier date, as indicated in the following paragraph.

Before the juvenile court, the question remains on the role until the children involved in the dispute are emancipated or reach the age of majority. If new elements, it can be brought before the court by finding or by written request, filed or sent to the Registry.

Article 730, § 2, a) of the Judicial Code does not apply to those causes. ".

Art. 4

387ter item, worded as follows shall be inserted in the same Code:

"Article 387ter - § 1. When a parent refuses to execute the judicial decisions relating to accommodation for children or the right relationships, the cause may be brought before the competent judge. Notwithstanding section 569, 5 ° of the Judicial Code, the competent judge is the one who made the decision that has not been met, unless another court has received since, in which case the application is brought before it.

Judge decides to drop everything.

Except in emergencies, this may include:

* Undertake further investigative measures such as social investigation or expertise;
* Make an attempt at conciliation;
* Suggest that the parties use mediation as provided for in Article 387bis.

It may take further decisions relating to parental authority or the housing of the child.

Without prejudice to the prosecution, the judge may authorize a party aggrieved by the violation of the decision referred to in paragraph 1 to resort to coercive measures.

It determines the nature of these measures and how they exercise in the interest of the child and designate, if it deems necessary, persons authorized to accompany the bailiff to carry out its decision.

The judge may impose a penalty designed to ensure compliance with the decision to intervene, and in this case, that for the execution of this penalty, section 1412 of the Judicial Code is applicable.

The decision is automatically enforceable provision. § 2. This article is also applicable when the parties' rights are governed by an agreement as provided in Article 1288 of the Judicial Code.

In this case, without prejudice to § 3, the court is seized by contradictory motion.

§ 3. In cases of absolute necessity and without prejudice to recourse to Article 584 of the Judicial Code, the authorization to use coercive measures referred to in § 1 may be requested by unilateral application. Sections 1026 to 1034 of the Judicial Code shall apply. The applicant must attach to the support of the request all relevant documents tending to establish that the recalcitrant party has been put on notice to respect its obligations and has resisted the implementation of the decision.

The inclusion of the motion takes place without charge. The query is the record of the proceedings that led to the decision that has not been met, unless another court has been seized since then.

§ 4. This section does not prejudice the international provisions binding on Belgium on International Child Abduction. ".

CHAPTER III

Changing the Judicial Code

Art. 5

Article 1412, paragraph 1, of the Judicial Code, as amended by Laws of March 31, 1987 and January 14, 1993, is supplemented as follows:

"3 when the judge made under section 387ter, paragraph 2, of the Civil Code..

In the UK ~ Conservative Conference: Tories Favor Shared Parenting After Breakup

Will the UK Tories pull ahead of the Canadian Tories in the quest for greater sanity in the currently maniacal adversarial divorce process in Canada. It would not surprise me as Nicholson, the Federal Tory Justice Minister, appears to lose his gonads when confronted with the possibility of having to face the feminists over their disapproval of shared/equal parenting as proposed in PMB C-422. One only has to look at his response to the shrieking of a feminist lawyer at the Canadian Bar Association meeting in Ireland not long ago. Nicholson, unfortunately is not the only politician turned eunuch, at the hands of a small but vocal minority of gender feminist whiners afraid of losing entitlements and their privileges.MJM



By Janaki Mahadevan
Children & Young People Now
8 October 2009

Couples who break up should by default have shared parenting responsibility, according to the shadow children's minister.

Speaking at a fringe meeting hosted by charity consortium Kids in the Middle, Tim Loughton said his party preferred a system which presumed shared parenting following family break down.

He also suggested that couples who cannot agree on joint arrangements should be made to go through a mediation process.

He said: "At the moment we have got an incredibly adversarial system when parents split up. It is crazy we have so many acrimonious cases.

"From the start of the process there should be a default mechanism for shared responsibility unless there is a welfare reason not to."

His comments answered concerns set out by the 26 charities that make up Kids in the Middle, over the adverse impact of conflict between parents on children.

Duncan Fisher, chief executive of the Fatherhood institute who is managing the campaign, said he wanted to see a more committed approach to relationship education in schools. He added that both parents needed to be engaged through health visitors and the midwifery process.

Answering a question from Shireen Ritchie, the chair of the Local Government Authority's children and young people board, about how local authorities can logistically involve both parents, Fisher said the process should start before the child is born.

"There are difficulties with working with two parents rather than one. But 95 per cent of couples are together during pregnancy. If we get them then, get their names, addresses get them registered then you are not chasing after them once the baby is born."



http://www.cypnow.co.uk/news/ByDiscipline/Childcare-and-Early-Years/login/944304/

Judge KOs shelter kickback scheme







October 12, 2009
By Carey Roberts

Every time we turn around, it seems, we hear of an abuse shelter being accused of discrimination, fraud, or other head-shaking irregularities. And now a judge has ruled the entire abuse shelter industry in the state of West Virginia is wracked by conflict of interest, gender bias, and financial kickbacks.

The ménage a trois involves a government agency, a well-heeled trade organization, and 14 domestic violence shelters located around the state. Here's how the scratch-your-back scheme works...

Any time a couple gets married or divorced in West Virginia, they are required to cough up a $15 fee to the Family Protection Services Board. That tallies up to $380,000 each year, a tidy sum for sure. The Board then doles out the money to one of the 14 licensed domestic violence shelters around the state.

So far, so good.

And how does a domestic violence shelter become licensed? Actually, the Board doesn't set its own standards — that responsibility was outsourced to the West Virginia Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

Now the plot thickens, because the Coalition was long ago hijacked by a radical feminist ideology. I recently visited its website at www.wvcadv.org and was jolted by this neo-Marxist cant: "violence against women is a political problem, a question of power and domination."

That's right, shove aside the research showing women are just as likely as men to be the instigators of partner abuse. Forget former NFL quarterback Steve McNair, shot in the chest four times in his chest by his ex-girlfriend as he slept. Sweep under the rug the fact that alcohol abuse is linked to most cases of abuse.

In other words, the Coalition openly proclaims its belief that domestic violence is all about unfettered patriarchy. And this group is no seat-of-the-pants operation — the trade organization's annual budget of $1.2 million comfortably supports a staff of nine.

So if you're looking for objective criteria for shelter licensure, you won't find it at the Coalition. That's because the group decrees that in order to become a certified domestic violence advocate, you have to swear fealty to the feminist catechism that "domestic violence is deeply rooted in historical attitudes towards women."

Whether you believe that statement is laughable, bizarre, or merely one-sided, you can't become certified in West Virginia unless you take the loyalty oath.

So the ideologically-driven Coalition establishes the certification standards. And the Board says before you can receive a penny of its money, at least one-third of shelter employees must be certified by the Coalition.

So where's the kickback arrangement?

Because all 14 abuse shelters around the state are members of and pay dues to — you guessed it! — the West Virginia Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

This good-ol'-girls club does not take kindly to other groups that want to partake of the state's abuse-prevention funding. So finally a group called Men and Women Against Discrimination had to file a lawsuit. The suit charged the policies of the Family Protection Services Board discriminated against male victims of domestic violence and deprived violence-prone women of access to perpetrator intervention programs.

When Judge James Stucky began to examine the case, he discovered bias pervaded the system from top to bottom. Take Judy Smith, one of the five directors of the FPSB and head of the Rape and Domestic Violence Information Center in Morgantown. Smith admitted — actually boasted — during her lawsuit deposition, "we do not shelter men in the shelter, even if it's empty."

Judge Stucky found the discrimination to be so widespread and egregious that last week he issued a summary judgment, taking all parties in the case by surprise: www.acfc.org/site/DocServer/WV_Findings_of_Fact.pdf?docID=2621

Noting the state legislature did not intend to restrict domestic violence services to the members of any one sex, he found the Board exceeded its statutory authority by delegating the standard-setting to a trade organization. "In practice this rule excludes any persons who does not adhere to the gender biased fundamental beliefs of the Coalition," ruled the judge.

Appalled by the illegal actions of an organization driven by a cult-like ideology, Judge Stucky concluded the Board's policies "are null and void."

Civil rights advocates across the nation were elated. "Today, men and the women who love them have reason to celebrate," notes columnist Teri Stoddard. But she cautions the fight may not be over: "lawsuits like this will unfortunately need to continue across the country."

© Carey Roberts
http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/roberts/091012

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Fom Rhode Island ~ Bob Kerr: In this contest, there are never any winners





bob kerr

01:00 AM EDT on Sunday, October 11, 2009

Mickey Mouse got bounced from the birthday party. Actually, he never got in the door. He stood there, in full Disney, and was told he wasn’t wanted.

It was one of those mad, cruel moments from the divorce wars, where people get competitive over a kid’s happiness. In this case, a father who couldn’t attend his daughter’s birthday party because of a restraining order hired a person in a Mickey Mouse suit to go instead. It was his way of being part of the day without actually being there.

It didn’t work. The fun Mickey Mouse might have brought to the party was no match for a mother’s need to keep a father out of sight and out of mind.

There are lots of names for it — payback, revenge, getting even, sticking it to the ex. It might be the sickest part of divorce. It is the attempt to lay waste to the idea that divorced parents can both maintain strong relationships with their children. It is the attempt to poison kids’ minds. It gets vicious sometimes.

And it’s always expensive. Lawyers and therapists do well with it. A considerable chunk of a family’s assets can go down the tubes because an angry parent would rather keep hauling the case into court than reach healthy resolution.

Officially, it’s parental alienation syndrome. It’s not easy to diagnose. Sometimes, it’s impossible to determine whether one parent is more guilty of it than the other. It is filled with screams and accusations, court-ordered therapy and the degrading experience of visiting with one’s own sons or daughters under court-ordered supervision — at $35 an hour.

False charges of abuse are fairly standard.

And in Rhode Island, of course, it all plays out in Family Court, where cases move toward resolution at a mud-like pace. And the longer a case goes, the more twisted the legal options become. Any accusation, no matter how baseless, can be reason to go back to court one more time for a few more billable hours.

I have seen it and heard it. Once, a young girl caught in the middle of an especially nasty custody struggle that I had written about called me sobbing and screaming to tell me how much she feared having to spend time with her father. She did not, I am sure, make the call on her own.

It is stunning how two people who were once so crazy about each other that they got married can turn into bitter opponents in a contest that can’t possibly have any real winners.

The divorced mother or father who gets satisfaction from hearing sons and daughters badmouth an ex-spouse is a strange person indeed. But it happens. There have been high fives exchanged over particularly hurtful anti-mom or anti-dad zingers.

When Pamela and I had coffee, she told a story of divorce and its scorched-earth aftermath that she thought was extreme. It wasn’t.

“I paid $4,500 to two lawyers and I got nothing,” she says.

She was 24 when she got married in 1994.

“It was doomed from the start.”

She tells of emotional abuse. Her husband threw things. He smashed a chandelier.

“I locked myself in my room once. He broke down the door.”

She filed for divorce four years ago.

Her two sons are now 13 and 8 years old. They have been through the wringer of divorce Rhode Island style. They have moved back and forth.

At first, she had custody of the two boys. Their father saw them every weekend.

Then, the divorce became one of those draining, endless contests that consumes time and money and emotional resources.

It continues.

“I don’t know how to fight back,” says Pamela.

She no longer has custody of her sons after a too familiar exchange of charges and counter charges. Once, her boyfriend, who she says she will marry next year, was ordered by the court to see a therapist after Pamela’s ex-husband accused him of abusing the two boys.

She had a visit with her sons last Tuesday, the first in three weeks. But the visit was allowed only after she and her ex-husband went to a court-ordered class on “co-parenting.” It didn’t go well. It is simply part of the divorce business.

Some visits have been canceled. Her ex-husband tells her one of the boys got sick. Once, a visit was canceled because the $35-an-hour supervisor couldn’t make it.

More and more, she notices her sons disrespect her when she does see them. It’s that alienation thing.

“I just want it to be over,” she says.

Those words could be put on a plaque outside Family Court. And below those words could be the words “Forget About It.” Because it is almost never over as long as an ex-wife or ex-husband wants to keep up the competition — keep filing charges and making motions and using Family Court as a marital boxing ring.

“I don’t have a problem letting the boys go to him,” says Pamela. “But he wants to erase me from their lives.”

bkerr@projo.com


http://www.projo.com/news/bobkerr/kerr_column_11_10-11-09_I2G1QN6_v13.32aab48.html

West Virginia Court Voids DV Rules as Gender-Biased

The Pamela Cross' of the world need to pay attention to their mistaken ideological premise in Canada as well. The walls of radical feminist ideology are falling around the world. Its only a matter of time for Canada to wake up to its blatant discrimination courtesy of Cross and her ideologue "Sisters." Those politicians too frightened to speak above the cacophony of Feminist doublespeak, baffle-gab and misinformation should take notice. People like Rob Nicholson, Minister of Justice at the Federal Level, and Bentley AG at the Ontario Provincial level should examine themselves periodically to see if they are still eunuchs. If not they need to take stock of the discriminatory practices they lead and start levelling the playing field. Changing the Divorce Act to a presumption of equal shared parenting would be a start through PMB C-422 and then help men battered down by the injustice of a gendered approach to family violence.MJM








October 7th, 2009 by Robert Franklin, Esq.

Last Friday, a West Virginia Circuit court struck down three administrative rules governing the licensing and operation of domestic violence shelters in that state. It did so in part because the rules and their application were explicitly gender-biased, contrary to the "crystal clear" gender-neutral language and intent of the statute.

The full opinion is here and is well worth reading. It draws a clear and detailed picture of a state agency utterly in thrall to a concept of domestic violence that is well established as false. To men's rights advocates, it strongly suggests effective litigation tactics for attacking the blatantly discriminatory statutes and administrative rules that so distort our response to the problem of domestic violence.

Here, as I understand it from the court's opinion, is what happened in West Virginia. The legislature passed a law that established an administrative agency, the Family Protection Services Board (FPSB), whose mission it is to license and oversee DV shelters, and programs to assist DV perpetrators in changing their behavior. The FPSB was empowered to set standards for these programs and shelters, and did. But the intent of the legislature was clear - all West Virginians, irrespective of sex, were to have access to services.

But when the FPSB swung into action, it directly contradicted the "crystal clear" intent of the legislature. First, it relied exclusively on the feminist DV group, the West Virginia Coalition Against Domestic Violence. It promulgated a rule that required at least one-third of the staff of a DV shelter to have been trained by the Coalition. Into the bargain, the Coalition refused to train anyone who was not a member of the Coalition. In short, members of the general public who wanted to be trained in domestic violence response or advocacy, were barred from doing so. Only those with the "correct" ideology were permitted licensure.

And, given the political slant of the Coalition, it should come as no surprise that the court found that this rule "excludes any person who does not adhere to the gender-biased fundamental beliefs of the Coalition." Those "gender-biased fundamental beliefs" meant that men and adolescent boys were excluded from all DV shelters in the state based solely on their sex (and age). That, of course is standard Duluth Model practice, but it is not gender-neutral as required by West Virginia state law.

The same held true for perpetrator intervention programs. Again, in strict compliance with the political doctrine that holds that only men commit DV and only women are victims of it, the Board, through its hand-picked agent, the Coalition, directly contradicted the clear terms of the law. In doing so, it deprived female abusers of the benefits of intervention programs, while simultaneously depriving their adult male and child victims of the benefits of intervening in the perpetrator's behavior. The court struck down that rule too.

Through the lens of a court opinion, it looks like the Board was taken over by the usual radical DV advocates, who then appointed the Coalition to do the daily work of creating and maintaining a DV shelter and intervention system that blatantly discriminated against men, women and boys.

Not only is it clearly discriminatory, it doesn't work. It doesn't work to address the problem of DV because its approach to the problem is ideological. By pretending that DV is a political, as opposed to a psychological, matter, the approach taken by DV shelters and programs across the country cannot work. The simple fact is that they misperceive the problem. Plenty of psychologists know this and have said so. If we truly want to deal effectively with DV, we'll listen to them.

The West Virginia case carries the seeds of future attacks on the blatantly discriminatory DV industry. As such it is a valuable tool as well as a landmark decision of sorts.

I do have one criticism, though. Without being overly technical, the plaintiff in the case was an organization called Men and Women Against Discrimination. It sought to advocate against DV in a gender-neutral way and was prevented by the gender- biased requirements promulgated by the Board and implemented by the Coalition. Among other things, the legal wrong done to the organization was the limitation on free speech the Board's rules placed on its members.

That's fine as far as it goes, but attorneys in future court actions will be well advised to include an individual man or men who sought DV services but were refused. Conspicuously absent from the court's opinion is any notion that the Board's rules violated anyone's due process or equal protection rights. Clearly, if the suit had included an individual plaintiff, instead of just a corporate one, those vital legal concepts would have come into play and the judge would have had an opportunity to rule on them.

But beyond that, this is a great day for men's rights.

Thanks to our good friends at the American Coalition of Fathers and Children for sending along the court's decision.

http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=4285

Toronto Star ~ More reaction to divorce series






There are two series of letter at different links. This is the first with link at the end.

What's the delay on shared custody?

Published On Sat Oct 10 2009
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Re: Breaking up: Family courts in crisis, Series Oct. 2-6

There are gaps in the legal system, leading to both fathers and mothers feeling that they are being treated unfairly. But, the real victims are the children who are losing out on a loving relationship with both parents, because of their parents' conflict – who are too consumed with fighting each other, ignoring what's in their children's best interest.

Parents need to work together for the sake of the children, not against each other for vengeance, control and destruction of their ex partner.

Deborah Moskovitch, Divorce Consultant, Author, "The Smart Divorce",

Toronto

I am so glad the Star is examining, in an intelligent way, what works best for children when parents separate. Having mediated hundreds of "good divorces," I think the key is the way parents treat each other, and the way they negotiate their separation. Mutual dignity and respect, positive and fully engaged parenting, and fun and meaningful time with both parents is far more important for the kids than the exact split of parenting time.

Hilary Linton, Mediator, Lawyer, Toronto

"The good divorce." It is a lovely concept and, in cases where two mentally healthy, mature adults are splitting, possible – with a lot of work. But the problem is that most marriages break up exactly because one or both people are not those things.

Are children better off with two parents? Sure, in an ideal world. But not everyone who fathers or gives birth to a child is fit or capable of being a "parent." It takes the giving up of one's self to a large extent.

Joint custody assumptions become a nightmare for all of us trapped in a divorce struggle with someone suffering from a personality disorder. For those ex-spouses, custody is a game and a weapon. A parent who wants custody and the love of their child does not use power, control and money to destroy their children's spouse at their children's expense.

Each case needs to be assessed on its own merits, because people are not something you can classify so easily. "Best" for the kids is not one size fits all, even if it makes life more complex for the judges.

Sadly judges are too busy to even read files, and so the pendulum of opinion as to what is "best" swings with the media.

Mara Cole, Toronto

I sympathize with fathers who have to beg to see their children. I sympathize with mothers who want to protect their children and raise them alone. The incredibly sad reality is that the children of divorce remain the truly suffering victims.

This article represents the tip of the iceberg, I am afraid to say. If you want to embrace your lack of faith in the justice system, take a wild ride on the divorce train courtesy of the reformed Family Law Act. Abandoned children, bankrupt mothers and fathers, you name it, abuse of the system still proliferate and all within the sketchy boundaries of "family law."

Joanne Ryan, North York

Thousands of children suffer due to severed or significantly reduced contact with one of their parents. Does anyone consider their emotions and their sense of loss?

Pamela Cross does not. It is appalling that Ms Cross stated that men who want shared custody of their children only do so because they are control freaks and want a decrease in child support payments. How insulting and irresponsible. It is a shame that she cannot conceive that men have children because they want them and love them. Does she think that women have cornered the market on loving their children? That is the implication of her sexist stance.

Joanne Miller, Toronto

It was both shocking to read how common my story was, yet heartening to see that something might be done with the anti-father-biased family law system in Ontario. From false and discharged allegations of abuse to huge legal bills ($125,000 to date), Susan Pigg's piece about frustrated fathers was my story put more calmly and eloquently.

As a divorced father, it is profoundly difficult not to be emotional. It simply touched the tip of a system that exacerbates rather than fixes the divorce and custody battles in our society that puts our children squarely in the middle of the battlefield.

Our family courts are over burdened, under skilled and fed by greed and emotion rather than logic and vision for the good of the children. Australia is leading the way in family law reform. Since its 2006 reforms, divorce court filings are down 18 per cent.

Canada has still not acted on a 1998 report, "For The Sake Of The Children," calling for changes to our family law system. Blimey Canada, throw a lawyer on the barbie and get with it.

Peter Krakus, Toronto

http://tinyurl.com/ylcewr5





Published On Sat Oct 10 2009

Re: Breaking up: Family courts in crisis, Series Oct. 2-6

What's to debate anymore? Shared parenting has sat on the backburner for 11 years while people wait in court as one or two judges deal with 50 people or more per day. Courts are backed up with uneccesary cases, taxpayers lose, children lose, both parents waste tons of money and animosity remains much higher as fight goes on for years. The only people winning are lawyers. Shared parenting solves most of this.

Women's groups worry about shared parenting helping abusive fathers when angry woman use this system in horrible ways to deny access to childen, accuse fathers of violence, abuse of kids, etc. Fathers often end up in jail on false charges. Shared parenting will help keep this problem under control.

This problem is rampant and fathers and children lose out from angry women who know the system listens to them. The system is archaic and biased. This system will save taxpayers millions of dollars.

Congrats to the Aussie politicians for making it law.

Scott Robinson, Toronto

The kids in "The Good Divorce" (Oct. 4) are obviously misguided. Somebody must tell the Margison children that they are actually dissatisfied with shared parenting.

Mother-only households are superior despite the fact that practically all studies show children need both parents.

After all, as Pamela Cross, director of the National Association of Women and the Law, says, "Entrenching the notion of shared parenting in law is dangerous."

We should only listen to lawyers and others who have a financial interest in removing children from decent loving dads.

I hope readers can discern my sarcasm here. To think kids need only one parent smacks of outright prejudice.

If I could, I would vote for Bill C-422, which calls for equal parenting provisions in cases of family breakdown. And I believe, if children of divorce could, they would vote for equal parenting as well.

Don Mathis, Sherman, Texas

The state of New Hampshire created several committees and commissions to study shared custody, among other issues. There was a Task Force on the Family, A Task Force on Family Law, A Commission on Child Support and Custody Issues, and the United States' first Commission on the Status of Men. All of those groups weighed in heavily on the side of shared custody. As did a 1984 study done by the National Probate Judges College, and a great many respected, objective academics.

The state's Supreme Court convened a "Citizens Commission" to study court issues, and the public input was overwhelming in its disdain for the status quo of sole maternal custody. A variety of studies have clearly shown that when sole maternal custody is the rule, it is to the extreme detriment of children and society. In the words of the Probate Judge's College report, "Shared custody is in the best interests of the child, the parents, the courts, and society in general. So why isn't shared custody the rule, instead of the exception?

Because the courts, states and provinces profit from child support collection. And feminists profit politically from disenfranchising fathers. Furthermore, the domestic violence industry usually weighs in on custody decisions, to further demonize fathers, entitle women, and hype the numbers for their profit. In effect, they are prostituting children for 30 pieces of silver.

Paul Clements, Dads Against Divorce Discrimination, Gaffney, S.C.

My wife and I decided after 11 years of marriage that we would be better off apart. We had a 5-year-old son at the time and thought it would be better for him to grow up with parents who were happy rather than stressed about being together. We felt we were still great friends and because we had no animosity towards each other, we thought it would be best to stay that way and work out our divorce in a way that made us both happy.

We had always worked opposite days so one of us would always be home with our son. We decided custody should be shared with the same arrangement. We split what assets we had and I moved out into a new house nearby. We immediately started shared custody. My son was with me the days my wife was working and vice-versa. He stayed in the same school and although there were lots of questions from my son about why daddy moved to a new house, there was very little disruption to his daily routine. He now had two houses, two bedrooms and two sets of toys and got to be with mommy and daddy every week.

My wife and I decided to apply for a divorce after a year of separation and thought we could do it simply with software, as we did our separation agreement. We quickly found that shared custody is not something that the software could handle so I went to a paralegal to help me sort it out. I soon found out that our legal system does not make it easy for a couple to apply for a simple, uncontested divorce with shared custody.

No lawyers were ever involved as I learned that that route was definitely biased toward confrontation, even when we had none to begin with. I had seen too many messy divorces that seemed to be sucking the life and money out of well meaning parents. However, with help from our paralegal and some wording changes, we were able to fill out an application that satisfied a judge.

It has now been two years since our divorce. Our son is very happy, he gets to see both his parents throughout the week, stay at his same school and see all his friends. My ex and I have both moved since the divorce but have agreed to stay within a short drive of our son's school. We continue to talk throughout each week to stay in communication about any issues and remain good friends.

I now have a fiancée who has a daughter and she too has a shared custody agreement. We have arranged that schedule so we have the kids together at similar times and have created a new family for them both. Our friends and families often remark how good this has all been for our children and how happy everyone is. I very much would like to see the family court system make shared custody a more likely end to divorce so others may enjoy the family lives we now have.

Dr. Tom MacKay, Pickering

Long-term outcomes for children without optimal engagement of fathers are evidenced in our jails. The time and energy and resources consumed in the siloing of who-does-what and who-will-pay for children does not result in children being provided with what they require for optimal development.

More than anything, children need time in a positive relationship, for which they can endure and overcome economic deprivation.

Dads deserve to have the chance to be in community with their kids. The future of our cultural existence depends upon their nurture.

Truncating the necessary psychological development of men from youthful invincibles to mid-life community pillars, in the same time frame as men strive for their ascendancy in life, is crazy making.

One cannot build a future at the same time as the assets required to invest in that future are depleted.

Catherine Soplet, Executive Director, Quality of Life, Mississauga

There isn't any such thing as a good divorce, just a small percentage that aren't ugly. Divorce is usually financially and emotionally distressing to one or both parties.

As far the effect on children, one only has to look at the deterioration of human qualities in the offspring of the high divorce rate generation and single parents.

The answer is to get society to take marriage and parenting more seriously. Men and woman should be held accountable for their actions and responsibilities. The party that is responsible for the breakdown of a marriage (physical abuse, substance abuse, gambling, infidelity, living beyond their means and unrealistic expectations in their relationship), should be made to bear the burden financially and the loss of custody of their children.

Maybe only then, will there be any real fairness in divorce and custody. Even better, this might result in the possibility of a more serious commitment to marriage and parenting, resulting in a better society.

Ben Barone, Willowdale

Let's be honest, there is no such thing as a "good" divorce. It is in fact a broken promise by one or two individuals and there can't be anything good about that. What message are you sending out to the thousands or millions of kids affected by divorce? Perhaps a better headline would have been "The Better Divorce."

I was certainly glad to hear that, through communication, the family in the article was able to do what is best for the children to give them a fighting chance at a normal upbringing. There are simply way too many break-ups nowadays and, in most cases, the children are the ones who get hurt the most.

Michael Gorman, Sharon


http://www.thestar.com/comment/article/707714