Monday, May 18, 2009

Life Time TV Are Dad Bashers - Lets Boycott Them







LETTER TO EDITOR:


The agony of child support

By | Thursday, May 21, 2009

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/may/21/the-agony-of-child-support/


Your Monday editorial "Anti-Dad bias," is the first substantial challenge to the divorce industry by a major newspaper and deserves to be pursued much further. This abuse of power goes far beyond media bias. The child support machinery has been expanded and perverted from a means of providing for abandoned children into a huge federal subsidy of divorce and single parent homes. It also distorts public policy and criminalizes innocent parents.


Ostensibly created to recover welfare costs, child support enforcement on the federal level has failed and now costs taxpayers more than $3 billion annually. More seriously, it pays mothers to divorce or forgo marriage, thus creating the very problem it is supposed to alleviate.


Mothers are not the only ones who profit from fatherless children. State governments generate revenue from child support at federal taxpayers' expense. By paying states according to the amount of child support they collect, federal programs give states an interest in more fatherless children. The more broken homes there are, the more revenue for the state.


One way to encourage fatherlessness is to set child support at onerous levels. Economists Robert and Cynthia McNeely write that increasingly punitive awards have "led to the destruction of families by creating financial incentives to divorce." This criminalizes innocent fathers with burdens that are impossible to pay, and it creates yet another federal plainclothes police force with no constitutional authority. The "deadbeat dad" is far less likely to have voluntarily abandoned offspring he callously sired than to be an involuntarily divorced father who has been, as attorney Jed Abraham put it, "forced to finance the filching of his own children."


These programs are virtually unassailable, not only because they balance state budgets, but because even family-values conservatives are reluctant to challenge destructive policies for fear of incurring feminist charges of defending "deadbeat dads."


The child support deception offers a preview of where our entire system of welfare-state funding may be headed: expropriating citizens with destructive programs that create the need for more spending and taxation. It cannot end anywhere but in the further decline of the family and criminalization of more of the population.

Stephen Baskerville


Associate Professor of Government

Patrick Henry College

Purcellville, Va.


Monday, May 18, 2009

EDITORIAL: Anti-Dad bias

Strong families need strong fathers, but American television has come a long way from the 1950s series "Father Knows Best."

Now Lifetime TV, a network known for its movies about women being endangered by men, has sunk to a new low - a reality program called "Deadbeat Dads."

In the beginning of gotcha TV, viewers enjoyed watching the police bust down a door and haul away the bad guy on a show like "Cops." That same format migrated over to Animal Planet, where the cops bust down the door and arrest the man who has been starving his dogs or kicking his cats. Now Lifetime is doing the same thing to divorced fathers.

Lifetime TV's new reality show, "Deadbeat Dads," centers around National Child Support founder Jim Durham, who finds and confronts dads who do not pay their child support. Reuters news agency reports that Mr. Durham "functions as sort of a 'Dog the Bounty Hunter' for tracking deadbeats ... it's ambush reality TV." However, the reality show, originally developed at Fox as "Bad Dads" and later dropped, is Lifetime's attempt to take cheap shots at men while ignoring the damage the show can cause children, wives and other family members.

The Lifetime TV program ignores the numbers. More than 90 percent of fathers with joint custody paid the support due, according to a Census Bureau report (Series P-23, No. 173). So deadbeats are in the minority. Also, most so-called deadbeat dads actually are dead broke. Two-thirds of men who fail to make child-support payments earn poverty-level wages, according to the Federal Office of Child Support Enforcement. Most of the others are unemployed.

Bruce Walker, executive coordinator at the District Attorneys Council in Oklahoma City, who ran the state's child-support enforcement program for three years and jailed hundreds of fathers for nonpayment, told the Newark Star-Ledger in 2002: "These men are seldom the mythical monsters described by politicians."

"Many times I prosecuted impoverished men," he told the Star-Ledger. "I prosecuted one deadbeat dad who had been hospitalized for malnutrition and another who lived in the bed of a pickup truck."

Nor is it likely that Lifetime will ever show that some fathers simply give money directly to their teenage children because some mothers end up using child-support payments for everything but the child.

Child visitation and child support are tied together, at least in the minds of many fathers. The largest federally funded study of child-support payments was led by Arizona State University researcher Sanford Braver over an eight-year period. Mr. Braver found that fathers with joint custody pay 90.2 percent of all child support ordered. Fathers with visitation rights pay 79.1 percent of all child support ordered. However, fathers with no access or visitation rights to their children pay just 44.5 percent of the court-ordered child support. Much of Mr. Braver's data was backed up in the Census Bureau report (Series P-23, No. 173).

But what about divorced moms who do not allow the father to visit his children, despite court orders allowing him to do so? Another study, "Visitational Interference: A National Study" by J. Annette Vanini and Edward Nichols, found that 77 percent of noncustodial fathers are not able to spend time with their children, as ordered by the court, as a result of "visitation interference" perpetuated by the custodial parent. This would mean that noncompliance with court-ordered visitation is three times the problem of noncompliance with court-ordered child support. In short, lousy moms outnumber deadbeat dads 3-1.

Will Lifetime TV be truthful about how often some mothers end a relationship with the father, take custody of the children and refuse to allow the father access to the children? Indeed, after the age of 40, women initiate more divorces than men.

While sometimes it seems that Lifetime has an anti-male agenda, perhaps it is simply pandering to embittered moms who make up the network's audience. The full tragedy of the collapse of many American families remains untold. It is a worthy subject, but it must be told without ideology; it must be clear-eyed about the myriad ways men and women have failed each other. Such radical honesty would make for compelling television and would be a public service. Pity Lifetime is not daring enough to try it.

RF4J UK ~ Fathers' rights campaigner in court





Anderton spent two days on the Tyne Bridge.

Anderton spent two days on the Tyne Bridge.


Published Date:
18 May 2009
A FATHERS' rights campaigner who spent more than two days on top of the Tyne Bridge was trying to create massive public disruption, a court heard.

Simon Anderton, 49, climbed to the top of the iconic Newcastle bridge in the early hours of Father's Day on June 15 last year, before tying a 12kg dummy with its head in a noose from the arch of the bridge.

He spent two days on the bridge before being talked down by police negotiators.

He was arrested and charged with attempting to cause a public nuisance and causing a danger to road users.

At the start of his trial at Newcastle Crown Court, Carl Gumsley, prosecuting, said Anderton was an activist member of the real Fathers for Justice and carried out the stunt to highlight the "failures in inequities" in the family court system.

Mr Gumsley said Anderton was aiming to create massive public disruption and wanted to close the bridge to get his message across.

"The Tyne Bridge is one of the most iconic and recognisable symbols in the north east," said Mr Gumsley.

"But it is much more than that, it is one of the main roads across the Tyne.

"The prosecution don't suggest that Simon Anderton doesn't believe in his cause. Everything suggests he believes in it passionately.

"But this is not what this case is about.

"This case does not seek and does not want to examine the merits of his cause.

"His actions are on trial, not his beliefs.

"This case is brought because in seeking to establish his cause this defendant acted in a way which created what must have been an obvious danger to other road users."

Anderton, from Melbon Terrace, Heaton, Newcastle, denies the charges against him and the trial continues.

The full article contains 301 words and appears in n/a newspaper.
Page 1 of 1

Real Fathers For Justice campaigner 'risked lives'

A FATHERS’ rights campaigner risked the lives of drivers and pedestrians during a 62-hour-stand off on top of the Tyne bride, a jury heard today.

Simon Anderton scaled the city’s most iconic structure at dawn, choosing June 15 last year, Father’s Day, to begin his protest.

The 49-year-old, who described himself as an activist with the Real Fathers For Justice group, had hoped to cause massive disruption by closing the bridge, Newcastle Crown Court was told.

Instead, police took the "difficult" decision to keep it open to traffic but not pedestrians, the court heard.

Anderton warned an expert police negotiator he would step up his protest unless the bridge was closed, it was claimed.

And he hung a mannequin from the structure in a chilling mock suicide, the jury heard.

"In seeking to establish his cause, in seeking to publicise what he personally thought was the right thing, he sought, attempted and intended to affect so many others," said Carl Gumsley, prosecuting.

"In doing so, his actions created what must have been an obvious danger to any body else by hanging that mannequin over the road."

When Anderton, from Meldon Terrace, Heaton, Newcastle, finally came down the mannequin was weighed at 12.5 kilos, the court heard.

"Were it to have fallen it would have been travelling in the region of 40 to 45mph when it may have well have hit either a pedestrian or car crossing," Mr Gumsley said.

"Hanging that mannequin would, quite obviously to a reasonable person, constitute and create a danger."

Anderton denies attempting to cause a public nuisance by disrupting traffic on the bridge and causing a danger to road users.

During interviews after his arrest, he told police he had scaled the bridge to make a point and claimed the family court system and not him was to blame for any disruption.

But Mr Gumsley told the jury: "This case does not seek and does not want to examine the merits or otherwise of his cause. His actions are what are on trial."

Anderton had begun his protests at 5am on Father’s Day, climbing on to the top of the bridge.

"His attempt was to have the bridge closed and cause massive disruption to the public," Mr Gumsley said.

The case continues.

Whipped: A magazine for married men


Sunday, May 17, 2009

In The U.S.A. ~ SAFE Act: Abuse Industry Batters the Truth


By Carey Roberts

May 15, 2009


http://mensnewsdaily.com/2009/05/15/safe-act-abuse-industry-batters-the-truth/


There is a group of activists among us who have found the perfect way to advance their statist, anti-family agenda. They ply their issue by relying on a devious mixture of exaggerations, half-truths, and bald-faced lies.


I’m referring, of course, to the domestic violence industry. DV operatives make bogus claims designed to garner ever-expanding federal funding, which in turn is used to disseminate more biased factoids that keep women in a continuous state of fear. It’s a multi-billion dollar, taxpayer-financed scam, and I’m here to blow the whistle.


Last week Dear Abby devoted her column to helping a man who had been pummeled and maimed by his wife: www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20090506 .(ed note: also see below) And according to a 2006 Harris poll, 55% of Americans know of a man who has been physically abused by his wife or girlfriend.


But the domestic violence industry works day and night to make you think the Roper poll got it wrong — that abused men are a statistical rarity, and such men probably had it coming anyway.


Here’s the latest example of the abuse industry’s ms.-information: the Security and Financial Empowerment (SAFE) Act. The bill was recently introduced in Congress by representatives Lucille Roybal-Allard of California and Ted Poe of Texas. (The fact that Poe is a Republican shows how far the GOP has wandered from its core principles of late.)


The bill contains 33 findings – supposedly a series of verifiable facts that everyone can agree are true. But this time around, someone got very creative with the truth.


Last month RADAR, a Maryland-based watchdog group, released its analysis of the SAFE Act findings. I’ll give you fair warning, this one’s a doozy: www.mediaradar.org/docs/RADARanalysis-HR739Findings.pdf


The SAFE Act starts off with this chestnut: “Violence against women has been reported to be the leading cause of injury to women.” That’s a prime example of crackpot science. Because according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the leading causes of injury to women are unintentional falls, automobile accidents, and over-exertion.


The SAFE Act goes on to assert, “According to recent Government estimates, approximately 987,400 rapes occur annually in the United States.” Want to know the real number? Only 90,427, according to the FBI.


The SAFE Act wants us to believe that “each year there are 5,300,000 non-fatal violent victimizations committed by intimate partners against women.” That claim reminds us of the old Yiddish proverb about a half-truth being a whole lie. Because the same survey that reached the 5.3 million number reported a similar number of male victims of physical abuse.


For several of its claims, the SAFE Act cites research by Joan Zorza. Problem is, Zorza is not a researcher. She’s a lawyer and well-known advocate for an assortment of radical feminist causes.

All in all, only 4 of the SAFE Act findings are accurate, up-to-date, and verifiable. All the rest are vague, misleading, exaggerated, or even intentionally deceptive.


There’s a lot more that’s wrong with the SAFE Act, including the fact that it will open the floodgates to even more false allegations of abuse (www.renewamerica.us/columns/roberts/090204) and impose a gigantic unfunded liability on American businesses (www.renewamerica.us/columns/roberts/090209 ).


So why did representatives Roybal-Allard and Poe risk bringing dishonor upon themselves by sponsoring this piece of legislative clap trap?


WIFE'S BRUTAL SENSE OF HUMOR LEAVES ITS MARK ON MARRIAGE


DEAR ABBY: My wife thinks it's funny when she hits me. The other day I was splitting some wood and decided to take a break. I began driving golf balls into the field. She came out, grabbed the club out of my hands and whacked me in the leg with it. When I asked her why, she said, "Get back to work!" and started laughing. I was left with a large welt and a big bruise.

Another time she bought some king crab legs for dinner. When I asked her if she was serving anything else with them, she picked up a crab claw and hit me in the forehead with it. She thought it was funny. I ended up in the emergency room with three stitches.

Last night, I was trying to add up our bills on the computer. She walked in and smacked me in the chin with the keyboard. She said I should be able to do the bills on paper like a normal person.

We have been together nine years, married for three. I love her with all my heart, but I'm getting tired of her little "jokes." How can I approach her? I want her to know how I feel, but I'm afraid to offend her or make her angry. -- FRUSTRATED IN OREGON

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Why are you afraid to speak your mind? Are you afraid she'll hit you again? Your wife has a sadistic sense of humor and enjoys seeing you in pain. Unless you draw the line, she will cause you serious injury.

Regardless of how much you love her, for your own safety you should get the heck out of there. What you have described is a form of spousal abuse, and it will escalate. That's why I'm urging you to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. The toll-free number is (800) 799-7233. The counselors there offer guidance to women AND men who are being abused by their spouse or partner.

Another organization, SAFE (Stop Abuse for Everyone), also assists victims of abuse regardless of age, gender or sexual orientation. Its Web site is www.safe4all.org.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Social chaos awaits unless Parliament restores restraint

This a is an interesting commentary on the damage done by No Fault Divorce. I certainly support the notion of putting it out of its misery. Its an obvious ticket for wives to walk away with lots of entitlements and they do in 75% of divorce contests as the applicant. The problem is the greener pastures they thought were out there by instigating the divorce aren't in most cases and they end up putting the children they receive "ownership" of by the feministically sensitized judiciary in almost 90% of cases into poverty. In other words the best interest of the children are not met. There are about 27 million fatherless children in North America in 2009 and a myriad of social problems due to judicial social engineering. There are also over 50,000,000 dead children through abortion since the early 70's in North America not including Mexico.MJM












By RORY LEISHMAN, LONDON FREELANCE WRITER

Thursday marked the 40th anniversary of the passage through Parliament of the most calamitous legislation in Canadian history -- an omnibus set of amendments to the Criminal Code introduced by former prime minister Pierre Trudeau that included easier divorce proceedings as well as legalized abortion and the sale of contraceptives.

With rare exceptions prior to 1969, divorce could only be obtained on the proven grounds of adultery. By expanding those grounds to include marital breakdown, Trudeau's omnibus bill cleared the way for a sharp increase in divorces. By 1986, the year before Parliament introduced absolutely no-fault divorce, the national divorce rate was more than 10 times higher than 50 years earlier.

During this period, there has been a sharp rise in the number of lone-parent families in Canada, most of them headed by women. And according to Statistics Canada, the low-income rate for female lone-parent families is four times greater than the average for all families.

Children, of course, are the primary victims of divorce. Study after study confirms that youngsters who grow up without the care and guidance of their natural father are far more likely to live in poverty, suffer from sexual abuse, obtain poor grades in school, end up in trouble with the law and eventually get divorced.

How long will it take for most Canadians to grasp the ruinous consequences of the experiment with no-fault divorce initiated by Trudeau? When will Parliament reform the divorce act to penalize a cruel and selfish parent who for no good reason, breaks up the family home?

In 1969, a few hardy souls warned that legalizing the sale of contraceptives would contribute to a disastrous increase in fornication, adultery and abortion as well as an epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases and other untold miseries for sexually promiscuous people.

Today, of course, any attempt to reinstate constrictions on the sale of contraceptives is out of the question. Canadians are fated to suffer the consequences of this aspect of Trudeau's ill-considered reforms for generations to come.

What, though, about the legalization of abortion? Prior to Trudeau's bill, the deliberate procurement of abortion was a criminal offence in Canadian law punishable by up to life imprisonment.

Supporters of legalized abortion in 1969 claimed that as many as 300,000 Canadian women were annually forced to undergo illegal abortions, most of them in dangerous backroom conditions. That figure was preposterous. And so was the assurance by Trudeau's justice minister, John Turner, during debate on the omnibus bill that its provision for legalizing abortion does not promote abortion.

According to Statistics Canada, there were 11,200 abortions in Canada in 1970, the year Trudeau's bill came into effect. By 1987, that figure had risen to 67,343.

In the 1988 Morgentaler ruling, the Supreme Court of Canada abolished even the few remaining restrictions on abortion in the Criminal Code. And within four years of this calamitous exercise in judicial activism, the annual death toll from induced abortion exceeded 100,000. Altogether, some 3.5 million babies have been deliberately killed by abortion in Canada since 1969.

Now, many of the people who applauded the legalization of abortion in 1969 are beginning to worry about the aging of the Canadian population. No conceivable amount of immigration can reverse this trend. Statistics Canada projects that by 2026, one Canadian in five will be aged 65 or over, up from fewer than one in 10 in 1981.

Who will pay for the crushing costs of health care in 2026? Who will finance soaring expenditures for unfunded Canada Pension Plan and Old Age Security liabilities in the next 20 to 30 years?

Trudeau's misconceived reforms to the Criminal Code have truly had a calamitous impact. There is no more urgent priority for Parliament than to restore some prudent restraints on abortion, divorce and family breakdown. Failure to do so will foster social chaos and undermine the security of Canada as a parliamentary democracy with a recognizable heritage of freedom under law.

More parents share the workload when mom learns to let go

USA Today has recognized gatekeeping by mothers. Perhaps now it will be recognized better how many mothers drive their husbands away from helping more with the children, among other things, and then they complain how little help he is. Compare this kind of gatekeeping occurring within intact families and then visualize how it gets magnified in separation and divorce. Its all about the same thing "ownership."MJM






By Sharon Jayson, USA TODAY

Equality is gaining ground at homes across the USA, but the move toward parity leaves some mothers in a quandary; they're ready to share the workload with their partners, but to do that, they'll also have to come to terms with the loss of hierarchy at home.

"Women who want to create this sometimes don't appreciate the level at which they must let go," says Amy Vachon of Watertown, Mass. She and her husband, Marc, have become the standard-bearers for a philosophy called "equally shared parenting."

"It's not so much the stereotypical 'Let my husband dress the kids in things that don't match' — that's the surface, easy stuff. It's more the deep-down letting go — being just fine when your child runs to your husband instead of you when she falls down on the playground," she says. "My first reaction is, 'I hope the other mothers didn't notice because maybe they would judge me.' "

The idea that Mother Knows Best for all things home and family is deeply ingrained and complicated by gender roles, socialization and culture, experts say. And now new research is beginning to help make sense of that maternal angst.

"There are a lot of pressures that keep reinforcing the division of responsibility in parenting that leaves moms in the control position — the 'expert parent' role," says demographer Catherine Kenney of Bowling Green State University in Bowling Green, Ohio, who has studied how mothers' beliefs affect fathers' involvement.

New research into the idea of "maternal gatekeeping" shows how attitudes and actions by the mother may promote or impede father involvement.

"For women who insist they have the gold standard around parenting and housework, men just tend to walk away," says Joshua Coleman, a clinical psychologist in San Francisco and Oakland. "They feel their own ideas about how the house should look or … how the children should be raised aren't given equal share."

Kenney presented research she co-wrote at a meeting of the Population Association of America over the weekend. The study of 1,023 couples from 20 large cities in the USA found mothers were protective of their caregiving and educational engagement with the child but were less so for playtime activities that "were not considered threats to the mother's caregiving identity," the paper says.

"Maybe he's not more involved because mom is holding him back," Kenney says.

Through interviews at the child's birth and at ages 1, 3 and 5, mothers and fathers reported about their own parenting expectations and beliefs as well as the time personally spent in various caregiving activities.

Dad needs woman's support

Other gatekeeping research co-written by Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan, an assistant professor of child development at Ohio State University in Columbus, is significant because it studied actual behaviors rather than just beliefs, and of the 97 couples participating, fathers were more involved in daily care of infants when they received active encouragement from the wife or partner.

"This study provides perhaps the best evidence to date that the phenomenon of maternal gatekeeping exists and that, under some conditions, it may have the potential to affect fathering behavior," says the study, published last year in the Journal of Family Psychology.

Corinna Buchholz, 34, of Portland, Ore., says "gatekeeping is real because you love your child so much and want to say, 'Wait, do it this way.' I try very hard not to because it's somewhat counterproductive."

At the Shippensburg, Pa., home of Catherine Zobal Dent, 37, and Silas Dent Zobal, 35, equality has reached a greater level of sharing.

Both are college English professors who recently left their respective campuses and will share one tenure-track faculty position this fall at Susquehanna University, about 80 miles away. They have a son, Emerson Dent Zobal, 3. A daughter, whom they plan to name Lake Zobal Dent, is due in two weeks.

"My mom strongly identified with the feminist movement," Silas says, explaining a fairness mentality that sometimes even surprises his wife.

Says Catherine: "I have this image in my head of my mother preparing and serving the food and my father being the social conductor. When Silas and I are entertaining colleagues or friends, sometimes I find myself wanting to revert to that position. I'll stand up to clear the table and think it's OK if he continues to sit, but he doesn't. He stands up, too."

Other names for the same approach include "co-parenting," "peer parenting" or "shared care," but the concept "equally shared parenting" the Vachons adopted was first suggested 10 years ago in a book by psychologist Francine M. Deutsch called Halving It All: How Equally Shared Parenting Works.

They've created a website, equallysharedparenting.com. Their book, Equally Shared Parenting: Rewriting the Rules for a New Generation of Parents, will be published in January.

Not 'just a hired hand'

"There are those that absolutely want equally shared parenting. They want a true equal partner who wants an equivalent say," Amy Vachon says. "But I also hear a huge group of people focused on these task divisions. They want a better helper at home, and that is not equally shared parenting."

The Vachons are both 46, and each works outside the home 32 hours a week. She's a clinical pharmacist. He works in information technology for a market research firm. They have two children, Maia, 6, and Theo, 3.

"I want to be an equal partner here," Marc Vachon says, not "just a hired hand."

He says planning a birthday party for their daughter starts with his wife's list of what has to be done — to which he agrees or disputes — before they decide how to divvy up the jobs.

"I don't want to be nagged or reminded," he says. "If I'm watching TV or going to play tennis, she has to trust me as a person living up to my responsibility. I'll get things done. She does not need to worry about it."

That's not what happens in many homes, says Andrea O'Reilly, associate professor of women's studies and director of the Association for Research on Mothering at York University-Toronto.

"She might delegate to her partner, but if you have to do the remembering and the organizing, the planning and the worrying, that's not equality," she says. "The intellectual labor of running a household — that work is still done predominantly by women."

Sampson Lee Blair, an associate professor of sociology at the University at Buffalo, studies division of labor in families. He says decades of research have found a "very sharp gender divide of 'his work' vs. 'her work.' "

For the same-sex couple

Negotiating roles is somewhat different in same-sex couples, says Esther Rothblum, a women's studies professor at San Diego State University.

"It's unusual in same-sex couples that one person does everything and the other person does nothing," she says.

Psychotherapist Anne Coyle, 45, of El Cerrito, Calif., says she and her partner of almost 16 years have "divided it more like a traditional, heterosexual couple" as they parent a son, age 8.

"I pick up Isaac and tend to do more of the cooking and cleaning, whereas Linda tends to work more and bring in more of the income. We're choosing that, and it's each of our preferences," she says.

Schoppe-Sullivan, 34, says that although she and her husband try to share parenting of their 3-year-old equally, she understands what mothers have at stake.

"I have certainly felt ambivalent about relinquishing control over what my daughter wears or eats. There are times when my husband dresses her in an outfit and I think, 'What is he doing?' I try to bite my tongue," she says. "The way your children look, a lot of mothers feel like it reflects on them.

"The way I would describe it is, in the end, society is still not going to come down on the father," she says. "Society is going to come down on you."

READERS: How do you and your spouse split parenting duties?



Links referenced within this article

Family life, roles changing as couples seek balance
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-04-18-families-conf_N.htm
Can we be married but independent?
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-04-14-marriage-cherlin-QnA_N.htm


Find this article at:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-05-04-equal-parenting_N.htm