VT Judge Awards Custody to Non-Biological Mom

This is the second such case where the bio lesbian mom has been re-born as a hetero and marries a man and got the religious right onside. This one I believe was the first and has been going on for sometime and is also likely the first time in history a non-biological mom was granted custody. It's interesting what judges will do with two women involved. Another occurred in Montana. I always thought they said same sex preference was genetic? Lesbians seem to be more flexible. If we had shared equal parenting as a presumption for same sex and hetero couples this might be avoided.MJM










by Kilian Melloy
Monday Nov 30, 2009

Happier times: Isabella as an infant with her two mothers

A long-running custody dispute has culminated in a Vermont judge ordering the former partner of a child’s biological mother to assume custody of the child. The anti-gay Christian press says that the seven-year-old child, Isabella, is a "stranger" to her new custodial parent, Janet Jenkins, and that Isabella had "violent reactions" whenever she was in Jenkins’ care due to her "lesbian lifestyle." But according to lawyer and family court expert Kurt Hughes of Burlington, Vermont, the outcome is typical of certain custodial cases in which one parent repeatedly refuses to abide by a court-ordered custody arrangement.

"Even though it’s hit the headlines because this happens to be a same-sex couple, this is a very basic family law that we’re talking about," Hughes told local news station WCAX, which reported on the case in a Nov. 23 article.

"There’s something called parental alienation syndrome, in which one parent is constantly bad mouthing the other parent," Hughes explained. "And so the courts over the years have decided that the potential long term psychological impact to a child from that type of behavior is much greater than the temporary disruption that would result from a child changing households from one parent to the other." The biological mother, Lisa Miller, has been ordered to relinquish custody of daughter Isabella to Jenkins by the start of the new year. Miller will retain visitation rights. If she does not comply, she may end up in prison.

Vermont Family Court Judge William Cohen ruled that the change of custody was necessary because the dispute had the capacity to harm the child more than a change of custody would. Wrote Judge Cohen, "Ms. Miller’s interference with the relationship between (the child) and Ms. Jenkins have become so pervasive that it now outweighs the potential harm that could occur to the child by a chance of custody."

But to Christian pundits, the case represents a precedent in which the state takes a child from her biological mother in favor of a non-biological former same-sex partner.

Miller’s lawyer, Mat Staver, is also the founder of the right wing--and anti-gay--Liberty Counsel, which has ties to Jerry Falwell’s religious organization. Staver was one of two sources quoted in a Nov. 25 article posted at CitizenLink.com, a Focus on the Family-affiliated Web publication. The other source quoted in the article was a professor at the right-wing Christian Liberty University School of Law.

Said Staver, "This judge in Vermont ultimately ruled that he is going to switch custody from Lisa Miller, and take her own biological daughter Isabella and move her from Virginia and put her into an activist lesbian household up in Vermont with a person she really doesn’t know, who’s not her biological mother, and frankly who’s not acted as a parent."

Staver claimed that Isabella responded negatively to Jenkins’ so-called "lesbian lifestyle," saying, "Every time that the visitation actually occurred, Isabella had violent reactions, because Janet exposed her to the lesbian lifestyle." Staver claimed that Jenkins "tried to convince her that she has two moms and even tried to scare her by saying that she was going to be taken from Lisa and transferred to Vermont."

The article painted Miller’s refusal; to comply with the court-ordered custodial arrangement due to the "violent reactions" that Isabella allegedly exhibited to spending with Jenkins. However Jenkins painted a much different picture, saying, "[M]y daughter completely knows me. We were together ten months ago. I mean, she adores me. She calls me Mama."

The case has raged for six years between the former life partners, who had entered into a civil union together before Miller conceived Isabella via artificial insemination. When their relationship ended, Miller relocated from Vermont to Virginia and became a Baptist.

The custody dispute went all the way to the state supreme court of both states. Vermont’s Supreme Court recognized Jenkins’ parental relationship with Isabella, and the Vermont state Supreme Court found--despite a Virginia law that excludes same-sex families from any legal recognition--that while Miller would receive custody of Isabella, Jenkins would retain visitation rights. It is that arrangement that Judge Cohen’s ruling reversed.

Cohen’s ruling was denounced by Liberty University School of Law professor Rena Lindevaldsen, who told CitizenLink.com, "To have the first reported decision in the country stripping a biological mother of her child, solely because she has refused to give visitation to a legal stranger, is shocking." Added Lindevaldsen, "There’s a lot of talk nowadays about drawing that line in the sand and understanding that government can’t order certain things. When you’re ordering a child to be stripped from her biological mother, you’ve got to wonder, has the court overstepped its bounds?"

Staver cited the case as illustrative of the perils of granting same-sex families full legal recognition, telling Newsweek in a Dec. 6, 2008 article that, "Lisa Miller’s case illustrates two things in regards to same-sex marriages. First, one state cannot adopt same-sex unions without affecting the sister states. It’s simply impossible. Secondly, these cases are about real people, and children are particularly caught in the tangled legal web of same-sex marriage, and Isabella is a classic example."

In that same article, however, Jenkins offered a glimpse into what the case has meant for her. "I did not divorce my child, I divorced my partner," she said. "Yet I’ve missed out on my child’s kindergarten graduation. I’ll never get that back. I don’t even get to talk to my daughter on the phone. It’s heinous what has transpired."

Whether children of same-sex couples are more at risk of such legal entanglement than are children of feuding heterosexual former spouses may be a point of debate. When it does happen that dissolving same-sex unions involve children, however, what holds sway is the very same patchwork of legal rights and status that can change the legal standing of a family’s members from one state to the next simply by crossing a border: while Vermont, where the women lived while together and where Jenkins still resides, now offers marriage equality, Virginia, where Miller relocated, specifically denies any legal recognition of same-sex families at all. Attorney Joseph Price, who represents Jenkins, told Newsweek, "You cannot just shop your case around in different states until you get a ruling in your favor. And that’s essentially what Lisa has tried to do."

In that article, Miller, too, opened up, saying that she had a conversion experience while attending a Baptist church and decided to walk away from her lesbian identity. "I do not feel safe leaving my daughter with her," Miller told Newsweek, referring to Jenkins, "and I believe I have a God-given and constitutional right to raise my child as I see fit." Continued Miller, "There is a homosexual agenda at work here, and Isabella is a pawn in their game. It has nothing to do with the law. Isabella was saved at age 4, loves God, and knows what’s right and what’s wrong. We don’t hate Janet, we pray for her soul and salvation."


Kilian Melloy reviews media, conducts interviews, and writes commentary for EDGEBoston, where he also serves as Assistant Arts Editor.

http://www.edgeboston.com/index.php?ch=news&sc=&sc2=&sc3=&id=99531

People: Alec Baldwin says he's through with acting

Compiled by Lori Smith
Denver Post

Posted: 11/30/2009 01:00:00 AM MST

Updated: 11/30/2009 07:42:29 AM MST

Actor Alec Baldwin, right, watches Game 1 of the Major League Baseball World Series between the New York Yankees and Philadelphia Phillies Oct. 28, 2009, in New York. (AP photo)

Alec Baldwin says he's quitting showbiz after his "30 Rock" contract is up in 2012.

"I don't have any interest in acting anymore," the two-time Emmy winner from Massapequa, L.I., said in an interview for the upcoming issue of Men's Journal. "Movies are part of my past. It's been 30 years. I'm not young, but I have time to do something else."

Baldwin, 51, has hinted at running for office.

He has one more movie coming out: "It's Complicated," with Meryl Streep and Steve Martin, which opens Christmas Day.

Despite his critically acclaimed 1990s performances in "The Hunt for Red October," "Glengarry Glen Ross" and "Miami Blues," Baldwin said he has not been a success at acting.

"It's a difficult thing to say, but I believe it: I consider my entire movie career a complete failure. I'll tell you why. The goal of moviemaking is to star in a film where your performance drives the film, and the film is either a soaring critical or commercial success, and I never had that."

He said he tried to quit his NBC show, a favorite of the critics in its fourth season, in 2007 after the humiliation of a nasty voice mail he left for his daughter - he called her a "rude, thoughtless little pig" - being made public.

"I feel the consequences of that every day," he told Men's Journal.

Baldwin, who has warred with ex-wife Kim Basinger over access to his daughter and wrote a book about parental alienation, says he considered suicide at the time. "I was going to put the hose in the most noxious of the cars I own, a Jeep, take some sleeping pills, and take a nice nap in the front seat of my car in the garage," he said.

Baldwin's battles with Basinger also led to a recent breakup with his girlfriend of seven years. "I don't mind," he said. "I'd rather be lonely than wrong."

http://www.denverpost.com/celebritybuzz/ci_13889627

Justice official gives thanks for bias and bigotry

November 30, 2009

By Carey Roberts

Last week we were jolted with the news that the global warming crisis is a hoax, an ideologically-driven scam based on data that have been routinely doctored, selectively presented, and when necessary, furtively disposed of.

But there's another global disinformation campaign that is still going strong. It's called the Cult of Domestic Violence. This ruse threatens the very foundation of American society: the traditional family.

This past Thursday Catherine Pierce, acting director of the Department of Justice Office of Violence Against Women, issued a Thanksgiving message — now that sounds comforting, doesn't it?

Ms. Pierce called for "a national conversation about violence against women and teen dating abuse. The Department of Justice will also dedicate this day to talk about ways to end the violence against women and girls that pervades every community in America."

Those sentences contain two very generous helpings of Ms.-Information.

First, domestic violence does not "pervade" every community in America. In fact, among couples in intact, married relationships, partner violence is essentially non-existent. Yes, intimate partner aggression lurks in some corners, but it is concentrated in low-income, substance-abusing couples not connected by the bonds of marriage.

Second, domestic abuse is not limited to violence against women. There is also a substantial level of female-perpetrated violence against men that goes unreported to the police. All the research shows women are equally likely to aggress, whether it's a slap-the-cad rebuke or a teach-you-a-lesson knee to the groin.

For example, the Centers for Disease Control reports 8.9% of adolescent males are victims of dating violence each year, compared to an almost identical number — 8.8% — of adolescent females.

And let's not purge our memory banks of the tragedy of former NFL star quarterback Steve McNair, shot four times in the chest this past July by his ex-girlfriend as he lay asleep.

So how does Ms. Pierce's one-sided Thanksgiving proclamation embrace mean-spirited bigotry?

Because when gobble-gobble statistics are floated before an unsuspecting public, persons begin to believe the lies. Segments of the population become stereotyped and demonized.

Laws are eventually passed that eliminate persons' fundamental civil liberties — just consider all the states that have passed "mandatory arrest" laws that shred Constitutional guarantees of probable-cause. Once a man is saddled with an arrest record, it becomes a cinch to tar him with the abuser label and take away his children.

Just as the global warming religion has come under scrutiny in recent years, a growing number of persons have begun to question the rigid orthodoxy that envelopes the domestic violence industry.

On October 1, President Obama issued a proclamation that highlighted the plight of both male and female survivors of abuse: "Domestic violence touches the lives of Americans of all ages, leaving a devastating impact on women, men, and children of every background and circumstance."

Three weeks later Rep. Judy Biggert (R-IL) declared on the House floor, "When we think of domestic violence, we think of the women as being the victims. But it's also men victimized as well. Male victims are less likely to report the violence, and seek services due to the stigma associated with being a male victim or not being believed."

And on Tuesday December 1, WETV will be airing its latest installment of Secret Lives of Women. The promo reads, "The fact is however, that more than a third of all DA [domestic abuse] cases feature males as victims, and even that number is considered low due to the relatively low reporting of these cases by men who are ashamed and afraid to do so."

Maybe we should all encourage OVW director Catherine Pierce to tune in: Catherine.Pierce@usdoj.gov . The last thing our families need is half-baked holiday greetings foisted upon us by self-serving government bureaucrats.

© Carey Roberts

http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/roberts/091130

Carey Roberts

Carey Roberts is an analyst and commentator on political correctness. His best-known work was an exposé on Marxism and radical feminism... (more)

Carey Roberts is an analyst and commentator on political correctness. His best-known work was an exposé on Marxism and radical feminism

The Mainstream Media on Tiger, Erin, Hartman, Women More Violent

I had an email exchange with an overly sensitive feminist earlier today over the possibility that Tiger was a victim of female on male DV. She brought up the canard of effects on the child if this was openly speculated which is what usually happens in defense of women but never when it comes to the man. Here are her first quotes when the issue was raised on an email thread.

"I think this is a shameful, disgusting pandering to gossip mongering. We don't know what happened. We were not there. And there are also other rumours that would explain the situation. Before we can pass any sort of judgement, or make any sort of conjecture, we need to know, not guess. We could well become part of the American passtime (sic) of pulling people off pedastals, (sic) ruining the good reputation of not just one, but two people, and harm the kids in the process. So, let's not go there."

Note the usual feminist attempts at shaming as though she were the mother of the group chastising the children. Nothing pompous or overbearing here.

I retorted as I usually do when I see someone trying to shape a thread into a politically correct polemic, and this particular feminist does it with great frequency. This is my final retort to those who would feel overly sensitive to covering up what may be DV by a woman on a man. You can bet your new low carbon footprint Toyota Prius that if this were reversed everybody in the Liberal MSM would be all over it condemning Tiger and wishing him a quick trip to hell.


The "what about the children" statement is used frequently by lawyers and the female support ecosystem trying to cover up abuse at the hands of the mom but it has no currency when applied to dads in the court arena. If its a dad then the bigger the false allegations the better it is to "protect the children" from the brute or so the "spin" goes. Had I listened to that when I confronted the PA of my children and not gone public they would still be very alienated from me.

Those of us who have experienced female abuse and know the discounting of it by almost everyone who has not themselves been exposed to it have little patience with covering it up.

On a balance of probabilities, the same mechanism used in family court, Tiger had some personal issues with his ex based on what has arisen so far by those who observed the damage to his vehicle. If they are misreporting then the information could be at fault. But logical deduction goes like this and having been there I know exactly what kind of response it could trigger if you lose focus and are distracted.

Were dealing with one of the most focused and controlled male athletes in the world. These are absolutely essential qualitiesto do what he does. He is a near billionaire if not passed that point due to his ability and has a great deal to lose if word gets out he has domestic problems given he pulls in $100,000,000 per year in wins and endorsements. For this reason it is to his advantage to cover it up. It has little to do with the children. When it comes to ridiculing men for suffering DV from their partner - and those who throw the epithets to put it kindly refer to such a person as "unmanly" - then I will counterbalance any argument forcefully and quickly to dispel any myths and emphasize these are normal men put in an abnormal situation.

Plug the focus and control into the equation. He smashes his Cadillac SUV into a fire hydrant and tree at less than 33 MPH adjacent to his house while leaving at 2:25 AM and he is not drinking and there are no other factors blocking his vision such as fog or rain. Perhaps he is on pain killers from an injury but it is unknown. If he was running to the pharmacy for meds for the kids then clearly it can be explained. He has chosen not to.

It has been reported both rear windows were smashed by his wife with a golf club and others report one. Why? Why did she not extract him from the front passenger side or the drivers side. The wife is suddenly a para medic using a golf club as the jaws of life as one wag said. There are always two sets of keys for a vehicle in the household. How did she ultimately extract him to the point he was lying on the ground semi-conscious. He is 6'1" 180 Ibs she is somewhat smaller. Did she drag him out and if so how? How did his face get scratched and lips lacerated but no blood on the steering wheel or in the vehicle. Why would the $100,000,000 dollar man not wear a safety belt?

Had this been a gender reversal with her driving things would have been "spun" quite differently. I am a crusader for equality between the genders and that includes all facets of it not some selected number. I will posit probable scenarios when a story looks fishy as this one is. Their are antecedents to the story that may or may not be true and given it is the National Enquirer involved the likelihood of untruth is high. But even if untrue the mere fact it was told this story was coming out could set off a partner and lead to a dispute.

Is this just a scary coincidence or is there a correlation? I think it was DV.MJM

Sunday, November 29, 2009

The Mainstream Media on Tiger, Erin, Hartman, Women More Violent

The Mainstream Liberal Media (MSLM) appear to have decided on using Tiger's purported affair with Rachel Uchitel as the excuse for Eirn Nordegren's assualt on him. That mslm political approach is similar to exonerating Maj. Nidal Hassan because of pre-Afghan assignment stress.

Few people remember that Phil Hartman was murdered by his abusive and battering wife. She then committed suicide.

http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&safe=off&q=Phil+Hartman+murdered&btnG=Search&meta=&aq=f&oq=

Few people know that Humphrey Bogart was battered by his first wife.

Celebrity Domestic Violence Cases: husbands battered by wives:

http://www.safe4all.org/essays/victims

11 Famous Men Who Were Beaten by their Women:

http://www.11points.com/News-Politics/11_Famous_Men_Who_Were_Beat_Down_By_Their_Women

The study below shows extensive evidence that women spouses are more violent than men.

A few more Tiger & Erin Woods reports:
http://www.examiner.com/x-833-San-Diego-News-Examiner~y2009m11d28-Did-wife-assault-Tiger-Woods-before-crash
Toronto News San Diego News Examiner
Did wife assault Tiger Woods before crash?
November 28, 7:36 PMSan Diego News Examiner Dave Thomas
Did a fight lead to Tiger Woods' car accident early Friday morning in Florida?
...
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2437962/tiger_woods_affair_wife_has_two_stories.html?cat=14
Tiger Woods Affair? Wife Has Two Stories About the Golf
Is There Another Woman? is it Rachel Uchitel? What is the Story Behind the Tiger Woods Car Accident?

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/women-are-more-violent-says-study-622388.html
Women are more violent, says study
The Independent, UK By Sophie Goodchild, Home Affairs Correspondent Sunday, 12 November 2000

Bruised and battered husbands have been complaining for years and now the biggest research project of its kind has proved them right. When it comes to domestic confrontation, women are more violent than men.

The study, which challenges the long-standing view that women are overwhelmingly the victims of aggression, is based on an analysis of 34,000 men and women by a British academic. Women lash out more frequently than their husbands or boyfriends, concludes John Archer, professor of psychology at the University of Central Lancashire and president of the International Society for Research on Aggression.

Male violence remains a more serious phenomenon: men proved more likely than women to injure their partners. Female aggression tends to involve pushing, slapping and hurling objects.* Yet men made up nearly 40 per cent of the victims in the cases that he studied - a figure much higher than previously reported.

Professor Archer analysed data from 82 US and UK studies on relationship violence, dating back to 1972. He also looked at 17 studies based on victim reports from 1,140 men and women. Speaking last night, he said that female aggression was greater in westernised women because they were "economically emancipated" and therefore not afraid of ending a relationship.

"Feminist writers say most of the acts against men are not important but the same people have used the same surveys to inflate the number of women who are attacked," he said. "In the past it would not even have been considered that women are violent. My view is that you must base social policy on the whole evidence."

His views are supported by Dr Malcolm George, a lecturer in neuroscience at London University. In a paper to be published next year in the Journal of Men's Studies, Dr George will argue that men have been abused by their wives since Elizabethan times. He uses examples such as the actor John Wayne, beaten by his wife Conchita Martinez, and Humphrey Bogart battered by his wife Mayo Methot, as well as Abraham Lincoln whose wife Mary who broke his nose with a lump of wood.

His research is backed up by historical records which show that men who were beaten by their wives were publicly humiliated in a ceremony called a "skimmington procession". The procession was named after the ladle used to skim milk during cheese making.

Dr George has also unearthed a plaster frieze in Montacute House in Somerset that depicts a wife hitting her husband over the head followed by a "skimmington" ceremony.

"It's a complex argument but we do get more women aggressing against male partners than men against female partners," said Dr George. "The view is that women are acting in self-defence but that is not true - 50 per cent of those who initiate aggression are women. This sends a dangerous message to men because we are saying they are not going to get any legal redress so their option instead is to hit back."

Terrie Moffitt, professor of social behaviour at the Institute of Psychiatry at King's College, London, admitted that women do engage in abusive behaviour and said the Home Office should fund research into the issue in the UK. "If we ask does women's violence have consequences for their kids then the answer is 'yes'," she said. "There is also an elevated risk of children being victims of domestic violence if there is central violence between parents."

However, Dr Anne Campbell, a psychologist at the University of Durham, said that women should still receive the most support because they were the greater victims of domestic violence. "The outcome of violence is that women are more damaged by it and need the bulk of resources," she said. "But women's violence has become increasingly legitimised. There is a sense now that it's OK to 'slap the bastard'."

Jeffrey Asher

FathersCan (Ottawa)

New Fathers 4 Justice ~ Controversial dads' group plans cathedral protest

We support you across the pond in Canada. Lets put the Dad back in Christmas and the Church in the spotlight for sitting on its hands.

Maternalism seems to take precedence over needing a father yet it was apparently a father that created the universe according to the COE. MJM

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Fathers’ rights campaigners planning a protest at Canterbury Cathedral have refused to rule out climbing up the ancient building.

In the past, members of New Fathers 4 Justice dressed a superheroes have managed to clamber on a series of high-profile buildings and unfurl banners demanding the right for father to see their children following a divorce or separation.

A source inside the controversial group, which will mount the demo on December 12, said: “We are still working out details. The final strategy is being decided.”

Police have warned they will react accordingly if any one climbs on the cathedral.

The Cathedral’s history goes back to 597AD and it is currently running a £50 million fundraising appeal to tackle serious structural problems facing the ancient building.

But ‘Jason’, the group’s South East co-ordinator said the demo is not a protest against the Church of England.

He said: “In fact we want them to do more to help fathers who are being cut off from their children through no fault of their own.

“Most people know this is not fair, yet it seems the Church and Government simply turn a blind eye to these men and dismiss their situation as unimportant.

“The synod has not debated the family and the breakdowns of the unit since 1991, which is frankly shocking.

“And the Government seems to also be ignoring these men. In many cases they have done nothing wrong, yet are told by mothers and the courts that they have no right to see their own children. For many, this is a wrench that is almost impossible to bear.”

The group is now organising what it is calling a “high profile protest” at the Cathedral for the first time.

Previously members have scaled the Royal Courts of Justice, Tower Bridge, thrown purple flour bombs at Tony Blair during Prime Minister's Questions at the House of Commons, and climbed onto the roof of Labour deputy leader Harriet Harman's house.

Jason said: “We want to put father back into Christmas. That is our slogan for this demonstration, and it makes so much sense.

“Christmas is a time for families, so it is all the more harder for dads to be apart from their children at this time of year.

“We know there are many fathers in Kent who are in this position and we would urge them to attend this protest, preferably dressed in a Santa outfit to drive the point home to the Church.

“We want to get our message across and slowly chip away at the establishment in the hope they will one day see how serious this is for so many people.”

New Fathers 4 Justice said the Church of England was showing a lack of leadership on modern-day family life, divorce and protection of young children's rights to both parents and extended families.

It warns it can’t rule out direct action at religious services.

Fathers are also part of the church flock that need help, yet the Church fails to speak out about a problem that causes so much pain, said Jason.

He said: “Children need contact with both a mother and a father and with extended families to provide the love, care, nurturing and discipline necessary for a happy childhood.

“We as dads and grandparents love our children and just wish to spend time with them but the present system breeds demoralisation in the home and workplace, compounded with further damage to even the sanest person's mental health.

“The Church of England and it representatives must stop ignoring the consequences of family breakdown.”

A spokesman for the Cathedral said: “I think there are better ways to make their protest. The courts and government control these things.

“It’s also not true the Church has turned its back on this.

“On February 12 this year, the Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams spoke at the House of Lords’ Children: Good Childhood Inquiry Report Debate where he backed the debate which called attention to the publication of the Good Childhood Inquiry report.”

POSTED: 28/11/2009 13:00:00

http://www.kentnews.co.uk/kent-news/Controversial-dads_-group-plans-cathedral-protest-newsinkent30348.aspx?news=local

In OZ ~ The clock ticks, but the hands the hands stay still

I made this comment on the newspaper site. http://fwd4.me/5jC. Ozzy papers are odd in that they offer you the choice to make comments but frequently they never appear for whatever reason the editor has. This is currently the case on this story. Its a bit silly particularly if it is such a heartbreaking story as this. Maybe the maternalists (female supremacists who believe only moms have child rearing capability) and slime anyone who thinks otherwise) were sending in hateful comments. They are infamous for that.


I am one of many in the international community on watch with you. I know the terrible loneliness to have your child kidnapped emotionally and physically. Abduction is one of the worst forms of Parental Alienation and can have life lasting impact on an innocent child. Over Christmas the feelings become magnified beyond what mere mortals can comprehend into an agony of deep introspection. It passes and makes you stronger but it still hurts day in and day out.

Unlike a death in the family where the grieving may recede with time yours does not. It is with you each and every day with similar intensity and it wears heavily on your soul and your health. I wish you well my fellow dad and know this - I have been in your dark valley and I have gazed at the abyss of hell without my children. You have my best wishes and with you I hope the light at the end of the tunnel gets a little brighter as the days pass. It can, against what appear to be impossible odds, become more luminescent. I know this from experience.

Be with other friends and family at Christmas. It is not a substitute but it will help.MJM

• By Michelle Cazzulino
• From: The Daily Telegraph
• November 24, 2009 12:00AM

Counting the seconds ... Ken Thompson at in his son Andrew's room at Hunters Hill / Pic: Alan Pryke Source: The Daily Telegraph

THIRTY-one days, 11 hours, 44 minutes and 13 seconds. Eight seconds. Five seconds. Two seconds.

There's a certain depressing predictability about the countdown to Christmas, which kicks into high gear at this time of year: you know, for example, that some twit will refuse to hang decorations on the basis that it might offend a religious minority and that such a stance will have the sole effect of annoying everybody equally.

The first cards will arrive, smugly written and sent, proving that someone, somewhere, has nothing better to do than punch out 500 soul-destroyingly dull words about how Aunt Mildred was shipped off to a nursing home in May and cousin Werner took up the euphonium in July.

And then there's that stupid ad on the radio, reminding you at least four times an hour that you need to get your order in now if you want your couch delivered ahead of the festive season.

And so, with feverish visions of a sack-wielding Santa getting crushed to death by a couple of sofa-toting deliverymen, you'll rush to the phone, only to realise that you're panicking for nothing because you don't need a couch.

In the midst of it all, it's easy to forget that there are people who, through sheer miserable circumstance, are divorced from the kind of temporary madness that overtakes the rest of us.

Currently, Ken Thompson can also measure his life by days, hours and seconds, only in his case, there's absolutely no chance of respite coming along in the form of a credit card bill and a handful of broken new years' resolutions.

For 19 hellish months, he has been without his only child - a six-year-old named Andrew who was aged just four when his mother Melinda spirited him to an undisclosed overseas location.

Last December, Mr Thompson successfully petitioned the Family Court to lift a ban on identifying Andrew in the media, allowing him to go public with the details of his search for his son.

In another lifetime, he was the state's deputy fire chief, but three months ago he finally took a leave of absence, acknowledging that every moment spent not looking for Andrew felt like a gross betrayal of his boy.

With no idea as to where to start looking, he has pinned his hopes on a Find Andrew website and the resources of the international online community, which has rallied to support his exhaustive efforts.

In doing so, Mr Thompson has laid bare the raw details of his life.

At times, the strain has been overwhelming.

He has been examined by psychiatrists, submitted to polygraph testing and been admitted to hospital suffering double pneumonia.

Two months ago, his lung capacity was just 15 per cent - doctors warned him that if he didn't start taking care of himself, the consequences would almost certainly be fatal.

Every milestone brings fresh agony.

Statistically, Mr Thompson was told, children in Andrew's situation are likely to be returned within 12 weeks of their abduction. On that date last year, he wrote an email to international authorities to thank them for their continued efforts.

He cried as he hit the button to send it.

This morning, as with every other, he will get up and check his phone and his emails, praying that something will have changed overnight, spurred by the memory of his tiny son's hugs and the hope that one day, Andrew will be returned to him.

In the meantime, as the clock ticks on, he remains prisoner to a timetable he has no control over.

"This Christmas . . . I really don't know. Honestly, I'm just doing things day-to-day," he said yesterday.

"I can't plan ahead because I don't know how I'll be feeling from one day to the next. I'm living in limbo. It's just this ongoing, horrible trauma of not knowing where my child is - and my wife - and it's with me 24 hours a day.

"It's a really difficult feeling to describe. It's just constant uncertainty, incredible stress and anxiety and just not being able to move forward. My whole life is on hold until I find Andrew."

Anyone with information about the location of Andrew or his mother is asked to contatc the Australian Federal Police on 6126 7777.

Anyone who recognises the mother is asked not to approach her but to contact the AFP on the above number which applies in all states and territories.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/opinion/the-clock-ticks-but-the-hands-the-hands-stay-still/story-e6frezz0-1225802386249

There is an angry core of Australian men who use cyberspace as the latest forum to unload on how women have done them wrong

My observations left on the newspaper site but may not be published.

My goodness David you are a genuine Feminist. So glad to make your acquaintance. Do you exaggerate that "all" the men who complain are "angry"? Do you resort to hyperbole to defend the honour of feminists when you state "Setting aside the fact that there's no such thing as an over-exaggeration,..."

Well Mr. Penberthy you have been co-opted and you clearly have no clue at all about the wrath wrought by the opposite sex when they decide their partner is deserving of let me see where do I start...oh yes... verbal abuse which becomes at first annoying, then tiring and then just plain abusive. Do you not think men have feelings and their self esteem can be debilitated by constant emotional tirades? Then there is the matter of emptying the bank accounts and maxing out the credit cards. Then there is the use of weaponry such as 4.5' wooden rake handles which can kill. Did I mention getting beat on the head when not looking with a 10 lb water jug? How about your spouse robs, through fraud, your employer and ruins your career and does the same thing in a family business ruining the business.

You have not done any research to write this column and that is too bad but then its typical of those with your "manly" mindset. You criticize others for not providing citations but you argue the other way without citing any thing of merit either. You believe men are invincible and I'm not exaggerating (sarcasm). You really do not have a clue about the level of abuse women are capable of within a partnership and we haven't even gotten to emotional abuse through the alienation of children. Have you explored the abuse of children at the hands of females in your country. You should and you will be surprised to learn they are the leading gender in that respect. That is the same in the USA where single moms lead the pack for both maltreatment and killing of their children. It gets worse when you add in her new boyfriend.

In most western countries Domestic Violence is pretty much equal between genders. In my country of Canada 7% of females and 6% of males are impacted according to our lead Statistics gathering government agency. We live in a world suffused with mythological statistics that only women are victims and much of it is propaganda or gathered incorrectly. Its a pity.MJM



White Ribbon Day in forum's sight

• David Penberthy
• From: Herald Sun
• November 26, 2009 12:00AM

Ambassador: Entertainer Andrew O'Keefe spreads the White Ribbon Day message.

A few weeks ago we ran a column on The Punch website, examining their emergence. The piece documented

how even those columns with the most innocent subject matter, such as breast cancer, maternity leave, child care

or body image become a vehicle whereby crotchety men can bemoan the apparent neglect of men's health issues, the economic pressures faced by single dads and the raw deal they get from the courts.

The article had the unsurprising effect of attracting, well, an angry core of Australian men who use cyberspace as a forum to unload on how women have done them wrong.

There was a depressingly pertinent example of this mindset this week and it's worth pinging the perpetrators over it, as it demonstrated all the nonsensical self-pity of the men-are-victims-too brigade.

Related Coverage

• Editorial : Solemn promise

Bizarrely enough, the target of their anger this time was White Ribbon Day - you know, the wildly radical outfit that believes it's wrong to hit women, which argues that the overwhelming majority of victims of physical violence in the home are women, and that women are more likely to be sent to hospital or killed as a result of domestic violence.

Yes, the same apparently sinister organisation that believes it is appropriate that boys and young men should have their thinking challenged at a deliberately early age on the subject of how they treat girls and young women.

Let me be clear. The White Ribbon Day people argue those things because they are actually true. They advocate education programs for young blokes because the best way to address bad thinking is to nip it in the bud.

But it was White Ribbon Day that copped a clip over the ear from the Men's Rights Agency, which is the closest thing we have to an American-style woe-is-us men's movement in Australia.

I'm not sure how they do their sums but they claim that the domestic violence figures - official government statistics, no less - used by White Ribbon Day organisers have been exaggerated by 400 per cent and that one in every three victims of domestic violence is a man.

There is no evidence provided by the Men's Rights Agency to back up this claim of one in three, unless by domestic violence they are also counting psychological violence of the "For

God's sake, honey, will you stop watching the footy and just mow the bloody lawn" variety.

Their distortion of the stats is one thing. However, if they want to suggest that 33.3 per cent of domestic violence victims are called Nige and Bazza, and are hiding in the broom cupboard begging for mercy as the little lady gives them the rounds of the kitchen, sensible people will see it for the crock that it is.

But their continuing attempts to win a cheap headline and deter government from financing childhood education projects through White Ribbon Day should be deplored.

Parents are reporting their concerns when their sons come home wearing the WR wristband and then begin asking questions, which suggest the boys fear their future will be one of violence, the Men's Rights Agency said this week.

The MRA says there is no excuse for the intrusion of the White Ribbon message into our schools, particularly with their brand of over-exaggeration

of male violence and denial of violence by females.

Setting aside the fact that there's no such thing as an over-exaggeration, it would be nice if the Men's Rights people could line up this army of angry families who are appalled by this innocent educational gesture and, while they're at it, maybe they can also wheel out those long-suffering men for whom home is a place of terror.

Otherwise, we should just recognise it for the cant that it is.

David Penberthy is editor of The Punch website and a former editor of the Daily Telegraph newspaper

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/opinion/white-ribbon-day-in-forums-sight/story-e6frfhqf-1225803968252

Men's Rights ~ Feminism should be about equality--for males too.

Commentary

Cathy Young, 11.19.09, 10:30 AM ET

Earlier this month DoubleX, Slate's short-lived female-oriented publication (launched six months ago and about to be folded back into the parent site as a women's section), ran an article ringing the alarm about the dire threat posed by the power of the men's rights movement. But the article, written by New York-based freelance writer Kathryn Joyce and titled "Men's Rights' Groups Have Become Frighteningly Effective," says more about the state of feminism--and journalistic bias--than it does about men's groups.

Joyce's indictment is directed at a loose network of activists seeking to raise awareness and change policy on such issues as false accusations of domestic violence, the plight of divorced fathers denied access to children and domestic abuse of men. In her view, groups such as RADAR (Respecting Accuracy in Domestic Abuse Reporting) and individuals like columnist and radio talk show host Glenn Sacks are merely "respectable" and "savvy" faces for what is actually an anti-female backlash from "angry white men."

As proof of this underlying misogyny, Joyce asserts that men who commit "acts of violence perceived to be in opposition to a feminist status quo" are routinely lionized in the men's movement. This claim is purportedly backed up with a reference that, in fact, does not in any way support it: an article in Foreign Policy about the decline of male dominance around the globe. Joyce's one specific example is that the diary of George Sodini, a Pittsburgh man who opened fire on women in a gym in retaliation for feeling rejected by women, was reposted online by the blogger "Angry Harry" as a wake-up call to the Western world that "it cannot continue to treat men so appallingly and get away with it." But does this have anything to do with more mainstream men's rights groups? The original version of the article claimed that Sacks, who called "Harry" an "idiot" in his interview with Joyce, nonetheless "cautiously defends" the blogger; DoubleX later ran a correction on this point.

Sacks himself admits to Joyce that the men's movement has a "not-insubstantial lunatic fringe." Yet in her eyes, even the mainstream men's groups are promoting a dangerous agenda, above all infiltrating mainstream opinion with the view that reports of domestic violence are exaggerated and that a lot of spousal abuse is female-perpetrated. The latter claim, Joyce asserts, comes from "a small group of social scientists" led by "sociologist Murray Straus of the University of New Hampshire, who has written extensively on female violence." (In fact, Straus, founder of the renowned Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire, is a pre-eminent scholar on family violence in general and was the first to conduct national surveys on the prevalence of wife-beating.)

Joyce repeats common critiques of Straus' research: For instance, he equates "a woman pushing a man in self-defense to a man pushing a woman down the stairs" or "a single act of female violence with years of male abuse." Yet these charges have been long refuted: Straus' studies measure the frequency of violence and specifically inquire about which partner initiated the physical violence. Furthermore, Joyce fails to mention that virtually all social scientists studying domestic violence, including self-identified feminists such as University of Pittsburgh psychologist Irene Frieze, find high rates of mutual aggression.

Reviews of hundreds of existing studies, such as one conducted by University of Central Lancashire psychologist John Archer in a 2000 article in Psychological Bulletin, have found that at least in Western countries, women are as likely to initiate partner violence as men. While the consequences to women are more severe--they are twice as likely to report injuries and about three times more likely to fear an abusive spouse--these findings also show that men hardly escape unscathed. Joyce claims that "Straus' research is starting to move public opinion," but in fact, some of the strongest recent challenges to the conventional feminist view of domestic violence--as almost invariably involving female victims and male batterers--come from female scholars like New York University psychologist Linda Mills.

Contrary to Joyce's claims, these challenges, so far, have made very limited inroads into public opinion. One of her examples of the scary power of men's rights groups is that "a Los Angeles conference this July dedicated to discussing male victims of domestic violence, 'From Ideology to Inclusion 2009: New Directions in Domestic Violence Research and Intervention,' received positive mainstream press for its 'inclusive' efforts.'" In fact, the conference--which featured leading researchers on domestic violence from several countries, half of them women, and focused on much more than just male victims--received virtually no mainstream press coverage. One of the very few exceptions was a column I wrote for The Boston Globe, also reprinted in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

Whatever minor successes men's groups may have achieved, the reality is that public policy on domestic violence in the U.S. is heavily dominated by feminist advocacy groups. For the most part, these groups embrace a rigid orthodoxy that treats domestic violence as male terrorism against women, rooted in patriarchal power and intended to enforce it. They also have a record of making grotesquely exaggerated, thoroughly debunked claims about an epidemic of violence against women--for instance, that battering causes more hospital visits by women every year than car accidents, muggings and cancer combined.

These advocacy groups practically designed the Violence Against Women Act of 1994, and they dominate the state coalitions against domestic violence to which local domestic violence programs must belong in order to qualify for federal funds. As a result of the advocates' influence, federal assistance is denied to programs that offer joint counseling to couples in which there is domestic violence, and court-mandated treatment for violent men downplays drug and alcohol abuse (since it's all about the patriarchy).

Against the backdrop of this enforced party line, Joyce is alarmed by the smallest signs that men's rights groups may be gaining even a modest voice in framing domestic violence policy. She points out that in a few states, men's rights activists have succeeded in "criminalizing false claims of domestic violence in custody cases" (this is apparently meant to be a bad thing) and "winning rulings that women-only shelters are discriminatory" (in fact, the California Court of Appeals ruled last year that state-funded domestic violence programs that refuse to provide service to abused men violate constitutional guarantees of equal protection, but also emphasized that the services need not be identical and coed shelters are not required).

To bolster her case, Joyce consistently quotes advocates--or scholars explicitly allied with the advocacy movement, such as Edward Gondolf of the Mid-Atlantic Addiction Research and Training Institute--to discredit the claims of the men's movement. She also repeats uncorroborated allegations that many leaders of the movement are themselves abusers, but offers only one specific example: eccentric British activist Jason Hatch, who once scaled Buckingham Palace in a Batman costume to protest injustices against fathers, and who was taken to court for allegedly threatening one of his ex-wives during a custody dispute.

The article is laced with the presumption that, with regard to both general data and individual cases, any charge of domestic violence made by a woman against a man must be true.

One case Joyce uses to illustrate her thesis is that of Genia Shockome, who claimed to have been severely battered by her ex-husband Tim and lost custody of her two children after being accused of intentionally alienating them from their father. Yet Joyce never mentions that Shockome's claims of violent abuse were unsupported by any evidence, that she herself did not mention any abuse in her initial divorce complaint, or that three custody evaluators--including a feminist psychologist who had worked with the Battered Women's Justice Center at Pace University--sided with the father.

More than a quarter-century ago, British feminist philosopher Janet Radcliffe Richards wrote, "No feminist whose concern for women stems from a concern for justice in general can ever legitimately allow her only interest to be the advantage of women." Joyce's article is a stark example of feminism as exclusive concern with women and their perceived advantage, rather than justice or truth.

Cathy Young, a contributing editor at Reason magazine and columnist for RealClearPolitics.com, is the author of Ceasefire: Why Women and Men Must Join Forces to Achieve True Equality. She blogs at www.cathyyoung.wordpress.com.

http://www.forbes.com/2009/11/19/mens-rights-feminism-equality-violence-opinions-contributors-cathy-young.html

Fathers 4 Justice to protest at cathedral

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A Fathers for Justice group will be demonstrating at Canterbury Cathedral as part of their campaign to change family law.

New Fathers for Justice are urging all dads who will not be able to see their children this Christmas to join them at 10am on Saturday, December 12 to support their campaign.

The group will be dressed in Santa costumes to put pressure on the church to help them “put the father back into Christmas”.

A spokesman for the group said: “New Fathers for Justice will yet again attempt to get our message across to the church which, like this arrogant Labour government, had ignored the plight of fathers since they have been in office.

“We are urging the church to support us in our fight to change family law and plug dads back into families in time for Christmas.

“We see this as a great necessity as we are now potentially only six months away from the general election. We hope that the Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams will help us with the plight of dads in Britain this Christmas.”

The group has urged dads to come along with banners and wearing Father Christmas outfits.

Campaigners from father’s rights groups have made a name for themselves using direct action campaigning methods to fight for better rights for fathers who want to see their children.

High profile demonstrations include a campaigner dressed as Batman staging a five-hour protest on a Buckingham Palace ledge and a father dressed as Spiderman protesting on the London Eye for 18 hours, causing it to close.

POSTED: 24/11/2009 11:30:00

http://www.yourcanterbury.co.uk/kent-news/Fathers-4-Justice-to-protest-at-cathedral-newsinkent30341.aspx

The Cyber Stalkers from OZ are back again with their not so secret - secret service

The fringe lunatic group called anonymums are up to their old games again with a new hate site but they are now going beyond the bounds of their other dim bulb men's hate sites and into the realm of criminal hate and civil libel. I have sent the following off to the Australian Federal Police, the ISP of the cyber stalker from Melbourne in OZ, shown below and will follow up with a legal letter to Wordpress the owners of the blogs. They believe they are anonymous and they are playing "secret service" games.

We'll see how secret they are over the next little while.MJM

From: Mike Murphy
Date: 2009/11/22
Subject: Australian Federal Police - Melbourne Office ~ Potential OZ Cyber stalkers - possibly from a fringe radical female group called anonymums
To: MEL-OMC@afp.gov.au


A Cyber Stalker using IP # 58.165.25.47 and Host name CPE-58-165-25-47.vic.bigpond.net.au on November 21, 2009 visited 3 of my blogs spending a great deal of time compiling information. This is, I believe, a female who belongs to a group on the lunatic fringe of mothers who have lost custody of their children and some of whom have serious personality disorders based on the hate sites against men they operate. They use the information leeched from other blogs and web pages on sites they create using Wordpress and Blogspot blogging interfaces. One of many was recently created to publish libelous material that has criminal overtones. The location of the new one is here http://mothersintelligencesecretservice.wordpress.com/2009/11/22/dossier-mike-j-murphy/ and the information on me was posted today.

These are some of the sites they operate directly or are associated with. http://anonymums.blogspot.com/.../justice-nicholson-wants-to-silence.html
http://ozpigpage.blogspot.com/, http://thetruthaboutthefamilycourt.blogspot.com/ - this one is used to slime men as well. In addition they are associated with similar women in the USA and Canada.

This cyber stalker has used Telstra International services to do this to other men on this same site and on other sites. Information on the IP and computer identity is included in the attachment and below.

The attached PDF has all the pertinent information to trace her. I have notified Telstra of my concerns shown below. It is my belief the person doing this may be suffering from a serious personality disorder and it is of concern. Please note one of the people this woman has slandered is an American Judge and I will forward my information to him in case he wishes to have the FBI investigate. My complete contact info is in the attachment and you should, under no circumstances, release this to the stalker.

Make A Complaint

Your email has been successfully submitted.

The details you submitted are as follows:

Date: 23/11/2009

Time: 15:28

Name: Mike Murphy

Message: A Cyber Stalker using IP # 58.165.25.47 and Host name CPE-58-165-25-47.vic.bigpond.net.au on November 21, 2009 visited 3 of my blogs spending a great deal of time compiling information. This is likely a female who has a serious personaity disorder and uses the information on a site recently created to publish libelous material. The location is here http://mothersintelligencesecretservice.wordpress.com/2009/11/22/dossier-mike-j-murphy/ and the information on me was posted today.

This cyber stalker has used your services to do this to other men on this same site and on other sites.

I have attached a PDF with the pertinent information. It is my belief the person doing this may be suffering from a serious personality disorder and it is of concern. Please note one of the people this woman has slandered is an American Judge and I will forward my information to him in case he wishes to have the FBI investigate. My complete contact info is in the attachment and you should, under no circumstances, release this to the stalker.

I will also be forwarding this information to the Australian Federal Police at their Melbourne office MEL-OMC@afp.gov.au

Telstra Customer Group: Residential

Telephone Number:

Email Address: mjmurphy@nospam.com

Potential OZ Cyber stalkers

3 Blog Logs of visit.

Possibly mentally ill and a member of a group called anonymums from OZ

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21st November 2009	21:50:23	Exit Link	http://www.blogger.com/profile/01576687584409641503
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21st November 2009	19:40:47	parentalalienationcanada.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=1996-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-05%3A00&updated-max=1997-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-05%3A00&max-results=1 parentalalienationcanada.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=1997-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-05%3A00&updated-max=1998-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-05%3A00&max-result
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