ACFC ~ Fathers Day Update

Dear Mike,

As Fathers Day approaches we wanted to follow up on several items of interest. Florida International University professor Gordon Finley sent this news item: FIU Lab Investigates the State of Fatherhood. Gordon is a great friend of fathers, his research and commentary are influencing public policy throughout the nation. Click here for FIU Lab Investigates the State of Fatherhood.

For additional reference information on Dr. Finley's studies and articles visit his faculty page at:http://psych.fiu.edu/Faculty&StaffPages2/Finley/Finley.htm.

Fathers Day Rallies

Illinois Fathers are sponsoring a rally this Friday at the State Capitol in Springfield. If you are anywhere in the area come by and demonstrate your support for Fathers, Shared Parenting and Family Law Reform. Illinois Fathers is doing a tremendous job supporting fathers in court, cultivating legislator relationships and raising issue awareness. http://www.illinoisfathers.com/

Fathers for Justice is sponsoring fatherless day rallies in a number of state capitols Click here for the flyer, contact one of the listed coordinators and find out what's going on in your area.

Adam Cunningham Update

Thanks to all of you who participated in the April 29, call to action on Adam Cunningham's DV case in Canada. The video link to the news report is no longer active. Adam received numerous injuries and subsequently died after surgery to repair a broken ankle. Thanks to ACFC supporter, Ron Spiller and others for sending this response from assistant attorney general, Robert Gillen.

Dear Mr. Spiller:

Thank you for your correspondence dated April 29, 2009, regarding the death of Mr. Adam Cunningham. I am responding on behalf of the Attorney General, and I apologize for the delay.

As Assistant Deputy Attorney General, I am responsible for the Criminal Justice Branch within the Ministry of Attorney General, including the conduct and supervision of all criminal prosecutions in British Columbia.

Charges of assault with a weapon and assault causing bodily harm have been laid against Ms. Elhan Cunningham. Ms. Cunningham is due to appear in court in July 2009, for an arraignment hearing.

It has not been determined that the injuries Mr. Cunningham sustained in the assault led to his death.

I cannot comment any further as this matter is now before the Court.

The public’s participation in the justice system is important. I appreciate hearing your views.

Yours truly,

Robert W. G. Gillen
Assistant Deputy Attorney General
Criminal Justice Branch

Child Support and the Passing of John Cole

Two years ago this August in conjunction with the Family Preservation Festival in Washington DC, ACFC hosted an event at the National Press Club promoting Angelo Lobo's documentary Support: System Down. One member of the panel was John Cole who relayed his Virginia child support experience.

John's battle with cancer ended last week with his passing on June 11th. As you watch his video note the fact that even though John and his ex had reached an agreement over his support the state would not honor their agreement and continued to hound John, now literally to death....

John's story is preceded by comments of another Shared Parenting warrior who past last year minister Ron Smith. Thanks to William Wagener for posting this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRCfN700gaI

Whether or not you will be with your children this Fathers Day, know that we at ACFC appreciate you, your participation and support in the effort to implement shared parenting and reform family law.

Sincerely,

Mike McCormick, Exec. Dir.

A girl's first hero

Happy Fathers Day to all Dads especially those who cannot see their children.MJM

How dads inspire and support a daughter's development

By JOANNE RICHARD

16th June 2009,

http://www.torontosun.com/life/2009/06/16/9809501-sun.html

Hey, dads, what you sow now, your daughters will reap later.

How a woman feels about herself as a woman goes back to how dad treated his little girl, report experts.

"Behind every great woman, you will find her dad" -- that's if he was an engaged, present, involved dad, says Dr. Mary Jo Rapini.

"If dads are able to admire their daughters achievements, character and interests and not their looks, the daughter will grow up to be confident and self assured. She will choose men who treat her with the same admiration and respect as her dad did," adds Rapini, a psychotherapist and author.

According to Rapini, a dad has so much power over his daughter.

"If he gives her gifts and focuses on her looks he will raise a girl who is more materialistic and thinks love and affection comes in a gift box.

"If he praises her looks all of the time, he will raise someone who loathes herself and is constantly checking to make sure she looks OK in a mirror -- we do that enough anyway.

"If he focuses on her abilities and interests he will develop a daughter who is more self assured, confident and understands leadership."

Studies show that dads give girls 90% of their self-esteem before the age of 12, she says. "What this means is that girls that grow up without a dad in the home, or one who abandoned them, are always going to be a little bit less confident and sure of themselves than peers who grow up with a dad in the home."

According to Rapini, an involved, engaged dad will be viewed as the first man she ever loved, and someone who loves her unconditionally. "Unlike mom -- who many daughters have emotional fights with -- dads don't get into all of the drama and are more accepting of them.

"Dads also have a way of redirecting a girl when she is being overly emotional. He can make her laugh and help her see the situation is not as bad as it appears. The daughter looks at dad as the type of man she wants to someday marry," adds Rapini, co-author of Start Talking: A Girls Guide for You and Your Mom About Health, Sex or Whatever.

Dads need to be sure not to pull away from daughters during the teenage years, adds Dr. Venus Nicolino. "Many fathers feel uncomfortable with transformation from tween to teen -- she's no longer daddy's little girl.

"A father needs to be there, emotionally available at all times but especially when he feels himself wanting to pull away during her teenage years. An emotionally available father can be the stabilizing force for a young woman. The little voice inside her that says, 'I love you no matter what', " says Nicolino, a relationship expert.

She adds that the best thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother so that she will witness what to expect from the men in her life, and what she should not have to put up with. "Having a father who loves her mother makes her more likely to go on to choose a man who will truly love her."

---

Do

Dr. Mary Jo Rapini suggests these five dosfor dads to positively impact his daughters:

- Focus on your daughter's talents and make note of them.

- Focus on times you see her being respectful, confident, compassionate and compliment her.

- Help her/guide her in creating her vision, dreams and interests.

- Tell her she can be or do anything she puts her mind to.

- Talk less, do more with her, listen to her.

Don't

- Be controlling and tell her you will decide what is best for her.

- Tell her she is pretty and say it all the time so she becomes focused on being pretty.

- Tell her she is getting chubby. Really, if you focus on their body you will create a girl with lots of issues and she may never get over them.

- Fight with her mom and be disrespectful to her in front of your daughter.

- Tell her she is not very smart -- "if you do this, I promise she will fulfil it."

Dr. Mary Jo Rapini

Maurice Vellacott, MP Saskatoon-Wanuskewin Media Advisory Equal Shared Parenting PMB # C-422 Introduced

Maurice Vellacott, MP had the opportunity to present a one-minute Member’s Statement (SO31) in the House of Commons today at 2:10pm, shortly before Question Period. The following is what he said. Also note the Media Advisory below:

Unfortunately many Canadian families experience the break-up of a marriage. When this happens, the results can be devastating for children. Children are caught in the middle but should not be used as a weapon or alienated from one of the parents.

Aside from proven abuse or neglect, Canadians want Equal Shared Parenting to be the presumption in our courts when marriages break up because it's in the best interests of children and because it's part of an enlightened Equality Agenda.

A recent poll, I commissioned, conducted by Nanos Research shows that 78% of Canadians support Equal Shared Parenting, with a high of 86% support in Quebec.

More women than men support Equal Shared Parenting at 78.3%.

And among supporters of major political parties, about 78% of Conservatives support Equal Shared Parenting. 75.8% of New Democrats were supporters. 80.6% of Liberals supported Equal Shared Parenting. And 83% of Bloc supporters endorsed Equal Shared Parenting.

An Equal Shared Parenting Private Member's Bill was introduced in Parliament today. I urge you to support it and expedite its passage through Parliament.

Maurice Vellacott, MP
Saskatoon-Wanuskewin

Media Advisory

Equal Shared Parenting Private Member’s Bill Introduced

Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009; 1 pm

From: Maurice Vellacott, MP (Saskatoon-Wanuskewin)

To: Media

Re. Press conference to announce Equal Shared Parenting Private Member’s Bill

Where: Charles Lynch Press Conference Room 130-S

Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff has written, “These groups demanded that the ‘custody and access’ regime created by the Divorce Act of 1985 be replaced with a ‘shared parent’ regime in which both parents are given equal rights to bring up their children. These are sensible and overdue suggestions, and the fact they are being made shows that men and women are struggling to correct the rights revolution, so that equality works for everyone.”

MP Maurice Vellacott (Saskatoon-Wanuskewin) will be speaking on the introduction Tuesday of Private Member’s Bill C-422, which would direct courts in regard to divorce, to make equal shared parenting the presumptive arrangement in the best interests of the child, except in proven cases of abuse or neglect.

Vellacott will be joined by Quebec MP Stephen Blaney, Liberal MP Raymonde Folco, John Menear, Barrister & Solicitor and Founding Member of the Canadian Equal Parenting Council and by Kristin Titus, Co-President of the Canadian Equal Parenting Council.

Polling from the past two years demonstrates overwhelming support from Canadians for equal shared parenting. There is slightly more support among women than men for equal parenting. This strong support from almost 80% of Canadians exists across the country, with the strongest regional support coming from Quebec and Atlantic Canada. Canadians claiming to be Liberal and Bloc supporters, expressed the strongest endorsement for equal shared parenting, at 80.6% among Liberals and 82.9% among Bloc Quebecois supporters.

Countries, such as Denmark, Belgium and Norway, as well as some U.S. states, have implemented equal parenting, joint custody or shared parenting presumptive legislation, resulting in lower court costs, less conflict and improved social outcomes for the children of divorce.

– 30 –

For further comment, call (613) 992-1966 or (613) 297-2249

Maurice Vellacott, MP
Saskatoon-Wanuskewin

Avis aux médias

Dépôt d’un projet de loi d’initiative parlementaire
sur le partage égal du rôle parental

Date : Mercredi, 17 juin 2009, 13 h

De : Maurice Vellacott, député de Saskatoon-Wanuskewin

À : Médias

Objet : Conférence de presse pour annoncer le projet de loi d’initiative parlementairesur le partage égal du rôle parental

Endroit : Salle de conférence de presse Charles Lynch (130-S)

Le chef libéral Michael Ignatieff a écrit que : « Ces groupes ont demandé que le régime des droits de garde et de visite créé par la Loi sur le divorce en 1985 soit remplacé par un régime de partage du rôle parental dans le cadre duquel les deux parents ont tout autant le droit d’élever leurs enfants. Il s’agit de suggestions judicieuses dont la mise en œuvre a trop tardé; leur formulation témoigne de ce que les hommes et les femmes luttent pour corriger la révolution des droits et faire en sorte d’obtenir l’égalité pour tous. »

Maurice Vellacott, député de Saskatoon-Wanuskewin, prendra la parole mardi lors du dépôt du projet de loi d’initiative parlementaire C‑422, qui exigera que les tribunaux, dans les causes de divorce, appliquent systématiquement le principe de partage égal du rôle parental dans l’intérêt de l’enfant, sauf dans les cas avérés de mauvais traitements et de négligence.

À M. Vellacott s’ajouteront le député de Québec Stephen Blaney, la député de Libéral Raymonde Folco, John Menear, avocat et membre fondateur du Conseil canadien pour le rôle parental égal, et Kristin Titus, co-présidente du Conseil canadien pour le rôle parental égal.

Les sondages des deux dernières années confirment que la population canadienne appuie massivement l’égalité du rôle parental, l’appui étant légèrement plus élevé chez les femmes que chez les hommes. Près de 80 % des Canadiens d’un bout à l’autre du pays soutiennent l’idée, l’appui le plus vif se manifestant au Québec et dans les provinces de l’Atlantique. Les plus fervents partisans se réclament du Parti libéral et du Bloc québécois, soit 80,6 % chez les partisans libéraux et 82,9 % chez les partisans bloquistes.

Des pays comme le Danemark, la Belgique et la Norvège, ainsi que certains États des États-Unis, ont mis en œuvre des dispositions législatives privilégiant le rôle parental égal, la garde partagée ou le partage du rôle parental, ce qui a permis de diminuer les frais judiciaires, de réduire les conflits et d’améliorer le sort des enfants du divorce sur le plan social.

– 30 –

Information : (613) 992-1966 ou (613) 297-2249

Maurice Vellacott Bill # C-422 ~ Intro Statement – Equal Shared Parenting ~ June 16, 2009

Mr. Maurice Vellacott introduced a Private Member’s Bill this morning that would require a presumption of equal parenting. This is a BILL, not a MOTION. It’s # is C-422. Don’t refer to it as M-483 if contacting others such as politicians or media about this bill because M-483 as an equal parenting measure was terminated with the last election call, as most of you already know, so nobody will know what you are talking about if you refer to it incorrectly. Mr. Vellacott’s introductory statement in introducing this bill this morning was as follows (Check Against Delivery):

Intro Statement

Mr. Speaker, I am honoured to be introducing a Private Member’s Bill today which would direct courts in regard to divorce, to make equal shared parenting the presumptive arrangement in the best interests of the child, except in proven cases of abuse or neglect.

Over 10 years ago, a Joint House-Senate committee presented to Parliament a report entitled “For the Sake of the Children.” That report urged Parliament to amend the Divorce Act to make equal shared parenting the normative determination by courts dealing with situations of divorce involving children. This non-partisan recommendation from that Joint House-Senate was based on compelling research made available to the committee members.
Over the past ten years, the best research has continued to demonstrate the far superior outcomes for children, in general, when both parents – mom AND dad – are actively involved in their children's lives, even if the parents divorce or separate.

Polling from the past two years demonstrates overwhelming support from Canadians for equal shared parenting. There is, in fact, slightly more support among women than men for equal parenting. This strong support from almost 80% of Canadians exists across the country, with the strongest regional support coming from Quebec and Atlantic Canada.

Canadians claiming to be Liberal and Bloc supporters, expressed the strongest endorsement for equal shared parenting, at 80.6% among Liberals and 82.9% among Bloc Quebecois supporters.

A variety of countries, such as Belgium, Denmark, Norway, Australia, and various U.S. states, have implemented equal parenting, joint custody or shared parenting presumptive legislation, which has resulted in lowered court costs, less conflict and improved social outcomes for the children of divorce.

This bill is one of the most a-political, non-partisan pieces of legislation introduced in this current Parliament. I look forward to strong support for this important piece of legislation from all Members of Parliament who are committed to the best interests of our Canadian children.

ember’s Bill (PMB) has now been placed on the parliamentary Notice Paper.

A first tiny step has occurred to get Equal Parenting into the formal Parliamentary process. Will it be a historic day. Let us hope for the sake of the children. Thank you to Mr. Vellacott (Saskatoon—Wanuskewin). Go to the very bottom of the Notice Paper. MJM

Notice Paper No. 75 Monday, June 15, 2009 11:00 a.m.	Feuilleton des avis No 75 Le lundi 15 juin 2009 11 heures

Introduction of Government Bills	Dépôt de projets de loi émanant du gouvernement

June 12, 2009 — The Minister of Justice — Bill entitled “An Act to amend the Criminal Code”.	12 juin 2009 — Le ministre de la Justice — Projet de loi intitulé « Loi modifiant le Code criminel ».

June 12, 2009 — The Minister of Indian Affairs and Northern Development and Federal Interlocutor for Métis and Non-Status Indians — Bill entitled “An Act to give effect to the Maanulth First Nations Final Agreement and to make consequential amendments to other Acts”.	12 juin 2009 — Le ministre des Affaires indiennes et du Nord canadien et interlocuteur fédéral auprès des Métis et des Indiens non inscrits — Projet de loi intitulé « Loi portant mise en vigueur de l'accord définitif concernant les premières nations maanulthes et modifiant certaines lois en conséquence ».
Recommendation	Recommandation
(Pursuant to Standing Order 79(2))	(Conformément à l'article 79(2) du Règlement)
Her Excellency the Governor General recommends to the House of Commons the appropriation of public revenue under the circumstances, in the manner and for the purposes set out in a measure entitled “An Act to give effect to the Maanulth First Nations Final Agreement and to make consequential amendments to other Acts”.	Son Excellence la gouverneure générale recommande à la Chambre des communes l'affectation de deniers publics dans les circonstances, de la manière et aux fins prévues dans une mesure intitulée « Loi portant mise en vigueur de l'accord définitif concernant les premières nations maanulthes et modifiant certaines lois en conséquence ».

June 12, 2009 — The Minister of Public Safety — Bill entitled “An Act to amend the Corrections and Conditional Release Act and the Criminal Code”.	12 juin 2009 — Le ministre de la Sécurité publique — Projet de loi intitulé « Loi modifiant la Loi sur le système correctionnel et la mise en liberté sous condition et le Code criminel ».
Recommendation	Recommandation
(Pursuant to Standing Order 79(2))	(Conformément à l'article 79(2) du Règlement)
Her Excellency the Governor General recommends to the House of Commons the appropriation of public revenue under the circumstances, in the manner and for the purposes set out in a measure entitled “An Act to amend the Corrections and Conditional Release Act and the Criminal Code”.	Son Excellence la gouverneure générale recommande à la Chambre des communes l'affectation de deniers publics dans les circonstances, de la manière et aux fins prévues dans une mesure intitulée « Loi modifiant la Loi sur le système correctionnel et la mise en liberté sous condition et le Code criminel ».

Introduction of Private Members' Bills	Dépôt de projets de loi émanant des députés

June 12, 2009 — Mr. Norlock (Northumberland—Quinte West) — Bill entitled “An Act respecting a National Hunting, Trapping and Fishing Heritage Day”.	12 juin 2009 — M. Norlock (Northumberland—Quinte West) — Projet de loi intitulé « Loi instituant la Journée du patrimoine national en matière de chasse, de piégeage et de pêche ».

June 12, 2009 — Ms. Dhalla (Brampton—Springdale) — Bill entitled “An Act to amend the Old Age Security Act (residency requirement)”.	12 juin 2009 — Mme Dhalla (Brampton—Springdale) — Projet de loi intitulé « Loi modifiant la Loi sur la sécurité de la vieillesse (exigence de résidence) ».

June 12, 2009 — Mr. Vellacott (Saskatoon—Wanuskewin) — Bill entitled “An Act to amend the Divorce Act (equal parenting) and to make consequential amendments to other Acts”.

TVO Tonight ~ The Interview: Justice Harvey Brownstone ~ Parental Alienation

My comments left on the TVO blog here. http://www.tvo.org/cfmx/tvoorg/theagenda/index.cfm?page_id=3&message=commentAdded&blog_id=323&type_data_id=&action=blog&subaction=viewpost&post_id=10470&flag=&0=0#comment1

I watched the show and found it informative. Inasmuch as Judge Brownstone has sat on the bench for so long he seems out of touch with the actual thoughts of dads. He indicates not many seek custody. I find this to be not in keeping with my own research and contacts with other divorced dads, not only in this country but several others. Frequently what happens when a dad gets a lawyer he will be told "you do not stand a chance at getting custody" so take visitation, pay child support, and cut your losses. If he has a pension he will be told to try and trade the family home to keep it intact.

The current custody ratio is about 9-1 in favour of mom. I do not believe 90% of dads do not want shared and equal custody of their children. That is a first legislative change necessary. If there is a presumption of shared and equal parenting with co-residency of the children it will help to reduce PA and the divorce rate will drop as it has in other jurisdictions. In the Belgium model any parent withholding access is considered to have abducted the children and will face jail. This will reduce access problems in Canada and will not give leverage to the withholding parent as it is automatic. They cannot blame the access parent and further alienate the child. Actions lead to consequences.

Judge Brownstone also tries to paint the picture the court is not gender biased. He may actually believe this but it is untrue. The 9-1 ratio of custody to mom is a startling and a profound judgment of men's perceived incapabilities. Ninety percent (90%) of us are not worthy to quote an old character on SNL. All these men are sentenced to 14% visitation, if false allegations are not raised about their anger problems. All judges seem to think DV is a one way street and if a false allegation that dad raised his voice, looked mean at the mom or hit the mom guarantees him only supervised access if any. False allegations are one of the weapons of choice in custody fights. Any lawyer who suggests this to a client as an option is clearly playing to his client not the needs of children. Do you think ethics prevent lawyers from doing this? Hmmm...I have this property for you...

Some judges use the excuse mom was the primary carer so it is just status quo. How is this measured? Most families have two workers and many dads have a high participatory rate in parenting. In my case because of criminal behaviour by my ex against my former employer I took a buy-out due to the humiliation and loss of reputation/credibility with my employer. I was a stay-at-home dad to my children from infancy for ten years. My ex took a run to the local DV shelter to get a leg up on custody. She also got those who are trained to believe everything these women say is true behind her causing me to lose custody. She did alienate the children before leaving to ensure they would be her allies. The deck is stacked against most dads even though all studies show the female is as prone to initiate Domestic Violence as the male. I can speak to that with experience.

Gender bias is not only in existence judges and lawyers are daily continuing to promote it. Is it willful blindness? I think so as judges are acting out the way they were trained by feminists who preach men are inherently violent and women the natural carers of children. These feminist trainers also deny the studies showing women as equal to or greater initiators of DV than men. All judges are required to take it.

I thought the show, on the whole, was informative. Amy Baker is a respected researcher in the field of PA, Mr. Wilson and Dr. Fidler very experienced in the battlefield for the affections of children and it is a gruesome place full of negative emotional outcomes for the children. I will recommend in my blogs it be viewed by others impacted by PA. Both dads and moms do use the children as weapons in this manner. Bala's recent study shows a 2-1 ratio for moms.

I have said before and I'll say it again. Justice Brownstone, even though I disagree with some of his statements, has acted as a catalyst to promote discussion of the dysfunction in family courts. That is a very good thing.

The sooner we have shared and equal parenting with co-residency of the children the better. Justice Brownstone can then observe how many dads don't want custody of their children or if not equal time then as much as their work life allows.MJM

Broadcast

Justice Harvey Brownstone | Parental Alienation

Friday, June 12 2009 8:00 PM

• Justice Harvey Brownstone
• Parental Alienation

Justice Harvey Brownstone

Think of the kids: Family Court Judge Harvey Brownstone and the parents who put themselves ahead of the interests of their children.

Links

• The Globe and Mail
  That toxic tug-of-war: In a custody battle, making peace is more important than being right. Indeed, the very notion of 'parental alienation' glosses over whose rights are at issue — namely, the child's. By Harvey Brownstone

Parental Alienation

The Debate: Parental Alienation

Parental Alienation Syndrome: the controversial disorder that's gaining recognition in psychiatrists' offices ... and in court.

Guests

Amy Baker is a developmental psychologist, and the author of Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties that Bind.

Harvey Brownstone serves as a justice with the North Toronto Family Court, and is the author of Tug of War: A Judge's Verdict on Separation, Custody Battles and the Bitter Realities of Family Court.

Barbara Jo Fidler is a registered child psychologist and accredited mediator practicing at Family Solutions in Toronto.

Jeffery Wilson is a family lawyer and a founding partner of Wilson Christen LLP.

Producers

Sandra Gionas is a producer for The Agenda with Steve Paikin. She has been at TVO for eleven years, first as a producer for the Daily Unit at Studio 2, and then as a producer for More 2 Life. She has covered health and education issues extensively for TVO. Sandra is a graduate of the University of Toronto, and Ryerson University’s School of Journalism. Follow Sandra on Twitter.

If you miss it follow this link for an archived version.

http://www.tvo.org/cfmx/tvoorg/theagenda/index.cfm?page_id=7&bpn=779533&ts=2009-06-12%2020:00:35.0